Thursday, December 18, 2025

The Man Who Was Already Everywhere

There is a point where biography stops behaving like history and begins to act like myth.

I did not know this when I first saw him walking the halls of the music department, dressed as if he had wandered in from another century, or perhaps from a diplomatic function I had not been invited to. He moved slowly, deliberately, the way men move when they have rehearsed the choreography of being seen. Suit. Tie. Hat. Leather attaché case carried not as luggage but as an argument. He looked less like another music student than like an emissary sent to observe us. Someone who would later submit a very detailed report.

At the time, I categorized him the way one categorizes strangers whose strangeness is mild enough to be survivable. Another composition student. Another ghost among ghosts. Classical music itself already felt like a ghost—counterpoint, harmony, fugue—studied with seriousness in a world that had already decided it was irrelevant. We were training to become fluent in a dead language, and he, somehow, spoke it as if it were still issuing commands.

Only later did I realize that what unsettled me was not his formality but his certainty. His sentences arrived fully assembled, with no visible drafting. Each idea appeared to have passed through some internal editorial board before reaching the air. He spoke as though the conversation were already being carefully archived. And maybe it was.

He spoke to me, once, about desire—not in the way desire is usually spoken about by young men pretending to be intellectuals, but as if it were a substance. A force. A medium. Something that could be measured, redirected, harnessed. He described desire as energy trapped under social sediment, compressed, distorted, pathogenic when denied expression. Disease, he suggested calmly, often begins as an interruption in the flow of secret wanting. This was not confession. This was bio-engineering.

I remember thinking—without yet having the language for it—that he treated intimacy the way a physicist treats radiation: invisible, potent, dangerous, useful. A thing to be shielded against or weaponized, depending on the application. He spoke of chambers, of sequences, of carefully prepared moments. Time itself seemed to be one of his instruments. I went home unsettled, carrying ideas I had not asked to carry.

Decades later I would discover that the problem was not that his ideas were strange, but that they were dynamic. They did not stay where you put them. They followed you. They rearranged other thoughts in your absence.

At the time, I had no idea that elsewhere, in other rooms, in other networks, his name was already multiplying.


The first time I saw his name detached from his body, it felt wrong in the way a severed hand feels wrong even if it is moving. It was on a screen.

Not his screen. Not my screen. A shared surface, neutral, supposedly objective. Wikipedia, a site that pretended to be an index of the world. His name appeared there as if it had always belonged. As if it were inevitable that it should appear. As if it were strange that it ever hadn’t.

Later I would learn that this page had once existed in more languages than Jesus. This is not metaphor. This is not accusation. This is arithmetic.

Hundreds of translations. Hundreds of edits. Hundreds of small insertions, each one polite, procedural, plausibly deniable. His name carefully stitched into articles where it did not belong: tools, animals, highways, abstract nouns. The effect was cumulative. Like incense burned not to intoxicate but to leave residue.

An editor (anonymous, patient, obsessive in the way that only volunteers can afford to be) noticed something wrong with the pattern. A statistical anomaly. A distorted vibration in the system. And then the excavation began.

Thousands of Sock-puppets. Fake proxies for his invisible hand. Decades of careful repetition. A reputation assembled not by acclaim but by accretion. Not argument, but presence.

I read about it the way one reads about a distant earthquake: with interest, with unease, with a strange sense of recognition. I knew this man. Or I had known a version of him. Or perhaps I had known only the early prototype. It occurred to me that maybe I had always known him too early.


Once, I found a sticker at a bus stop. It was old. Sun-bleached. Half-peeled. The adhesive had given up before the declaration did.

It read:

DAVID WOODARD
SUPREME RULER OF THE UNIVERSE

No irony markers. No context. No explanation. Just assertion.

I stared at it longer than necessary. Long enough to feel foolish. Long enough to feel implicated. Long enough to wonder whether this was propaganda or vandalism, devotion or parody, joke or test.

I did not take it. I did not photograph it. I let it remain where it was, performing its small ritual for whoever else might notice.

Years later, when the giant Wikipedia hoax surfaced, I thought of the sticker again. Not because it explained anything but because it didn’t.


In the spring of 1990, I dreamt of him. This was before the internet had learned how to dream for us.

In the dream, the future was vast and green and wrong. Technology had grown organic interfaces. Machines were carved. Circuits were etched into stone. Cables were braided from leaves and mud. Blue fire moved without burning. Everything functioned, but nothing obeyed the design manuals we had been promised.

He stood at the center of this place not as a ruler but as a facilitator. Someone who knew how to unlock something dangerous without pretending it was safe. He was preparing a birth that had been forbidden not because it was evil but because it was uncontrollable.

He had notebooks. Many of them. Grimoires disguised as research logs. Schematics that refused to stay still. Diagrams that rearranged themselves when not observed directly. Information too dense to survive authority.

They came for him, of course. They always do. They destroyed everything efficiently. No drama. No speeches. Just erasure. When I arrived (too late, always too late) there was nothing left but a broken clay vessel and dust. A workshop reduced to an argument against persistence.

I woke with the sense that I had witnessed not a failure but a rehearsal.


What unsettles me now is not the hoax itself. It is the compatibility between the man I knew and the system that later bloomed around his name.

Wikipedia is not a liar. It is a ritual space governed by repetition, citation, and endurance. Truth there is not declared; it is maintained. To exist is to be defended continuously against deletion. Fame is not achieved—it is kept alive.

And here was a man who already understood that. He understood imbalance. He understood information. He understood that a whole can sometimes be reconstructed from a fragment if the fragment is placed correctly. That desire, when denied a body, will find another substrate. That if you cannot be everywhere physically, you can be everywhere referentially.

I am not accusing him of anything. Accusation implies a court. This feels more like anthropology. I imagine him, younger, with his attaché case, already thinking in terms of systems and large semiotic structures. Already rehearsing persistence. Already aware that the future would belong not to those who shouted but to those who edited patiently.

I imagine him discovering that machines do not need belief, only maintenance.


There are those who claim he composed and conducted music for the dying. There are those who insist he rebuilt a failed colony using sound. There are those who say none of this matters, that the only relevant story is the hoax, the manipulation, the violation of communal trust. All of these can be true simultaneously. The mistake is to think they cancel each other out.

I no longer ask whether he was real in the way biographies demand. I ask instead whether he functioned. And by that metric, the answer is uncomfortable.


Sometimes I wonder if the hoax was not an act of vanity but of faith. A belief that existence itself is a composition problem. A fugue written not in notes but in references. A life scored for hyperlinks.

If so, then perhaps the sticker at the bus stop was not a joke after all, but a condensed manifesto. A title claimed not through conquest but through saturation. Mastery not of matter, but of symbol.


I did not keep in touch with him. I did not confront him. I did not ask him whether the dream was mutual. What remains is this collage made of memory, myth, system error, residue. A man I knew briefly who later became difficult to locate precisely because he was everywhere.

Perhaps that is the final lesson. That in the age of infinite documentation, disappearance no longer requires silence. Only redundancy.


There is an old superstition—older than writing, older even than gods—that to name a thing is not to describe it, but to anchor it. The anchor does not stop the thing from moving. It simply guarantees that wherever it drifts, there will be a line attached, trailing back to whoever spoke first.

In this sense, the encyclopedia is not a book at all. It is a harbor. Each entry is a tether thrown into the dark. Some lines are short and taut. Others disappear into the depths, fray invisibly, reemerge in unexpected coves. Most names sink quietly. A few float. Fewer still begin to pull back.

I have come to think that David Woodard was not writing himself into history but testing the tensile strength of the rope.


There is a point in every myth where the hero is no longer distinguishable from the road. Where the journey ceases to be a sequence of events and becomes a condition imposed on anyone who tries to follow. I suspect that happened early.

Perhaps it happened before I met him, already dressed in his suit, already carrying his attaché case like a portable archive. Perhaps the case did not contain papers so much as protocols. Ways of speaking. Ways of being cited. Ways of existing that did not depend on proximity.

He spoke of imbalance once—not in moral terms, but structural ones. Systems fail, he said, not because they are attacked, but because they are starved of asymmetry. Too much harmony creates stagnation. Too much order invites entropy to reorganize it violently.

What he did not say—but what I now hear retroactively—is that the same is true of memory. If everyone agrees too quickly, the myth dies.


In some versions of the story—and there are many, all incompatible—he invents devices that operate only in liminal states. Machines that require sleep, dying light, the precise moment when attention flickers but does not extinguish. They are useless at noon. They fail under scrutiny. They function best when no one is sure whether they are functioning at all.

One such device, I am told, resembles a simple lamp. Another resembles a page. Another resembles a man walking through a hallway in San Francisco, indistinguishable from a student, except for the faint sensation that he is slightly ahead of the present.


The editors who uncovered the hoax believed they were dismantling a fraud. They were wrong. They were completing a ritual.

Every deletion is a counter-spell. Every citation challenge is a trial by ordeal. Every talk-page argument is a theological dispute disguised as housekeeping. The community believes itself secular, procedural, immune to enchantment—but belief has never required acknowledgment to function.

When they removed his name from the bus stops, from the articles, from the multiple references, they did not erase him. They distributed him. A name survives deletion better than it survives neglect.


There is a legend—unpublished, unattributed, circulating only in marginalia—that says Wikipedia was never meant to be accurate. It was meant to be exhaustive. Not a mirror of the world, but a test of how much the world could tolerate being mirrored before it cracked.

In that legend, certain names become stress points. Insert them often enough, subtly enough, and the structure begins to hum.

I imagine Woodard understood this intuitively. That he saw the encyclopedia not as a platform but as an instrument. A dreamachine scaled to planetary cognition. Spin it fast enough, feed it enough repetition, and consciousness begins to strobe.

Not truth. Attention.


Once, walking past that bus stop again (years after the sticker had vanished) I felt a sudden certainty that the sticker had never been unique. That it had appeared elsewhere. That it had always appeared elsewhere.

Different cities. Different eras. Same phrase. Sometimes handwritten. Sometimes etched. Sometimes spoken casually by people who could not later explain why they said it.

Master of the Universe.

Not a claim. A diagnosis.


In mythic time, there are no hoaxes—only avatars.

The trickster does not lie to deceive; he lies to force interpretation. He introduces false data not to obscure truth but to reveal the machinery by which truth is assembled. When the editors protested—this is not neutral, this is promotional—they were acknowledging the presence of a will strong enough to distort neutrality itself.

That is not nothing. That is power of a very specific kind.


I sometimes think of the dream again, the broken vessel, the dust-covered room. At the time, I believed it was a warning. Now I think it was a misdirection.

What was destroyed was never the work. It was the container.

The notebooks were meant to burn. The devices were meant to fail. The colony was meant to dissolve. These are not tragedies in myth; they are phase transitions. You cannot migrate a god by carrying its furniture. You migrate it by letting it shed weight, its material manifestations.


If Woodard exists now—and I no longer know what that verb means—he exists as a distributed presence. A background process. A pattern-recognition trap. Those who notice him begin to notice other things: the fragility of authority, the porousness of consensus, the way repetition manufactures inevitability. He has become less a person than a test case.

How many times can a name be spoken before it stops referring? How many citations before belief replaces verification? How many deletions before the act of deletion itself becomes a form of invocation?


There is a final version of the myth that says none of this was intentional. That he simply loved systems the way some people love animals or storms. That he fed the encyclopedia the way monks feed candles. One small act at a time, trusting accumulation to do what intention could not.

In that version, the hoax is not a crime but a prayer that worked too well.


I no longer try to decide which version is correct. Correctness is a local phenomenon. What matters is that when I think of him now, I do not picture the man in the suit. I picture instead a field—dense, vibrating, annotated—through which names drift like charged particles. Some decay quickly. Some persist. A very few begin to alter the field itself.

And somewhere in that field, faint but unmistakable, a phrase continues to circulate without origin or destination: Supreme Ruler of the Universe.

Not because it is true, but because it refuses to stop being tested, it refuses to stop vibrating with dislocated life.

 

Tuesday, November 25, 2025

The Sand Does Not Ask

We were eating in San Francisco, my mother opposite me, Lydia to my left, the Galindo family on the right, all of us arranged like a little altar around bowls of chow mein and plates of steamed greens that we would never finish. Market Street was its usual river of bodies and buses, a marching band of advertisements and the soft clatter of utensils, a starling chorus of shoes on tile, the city’s private weather. I remember thinking that the steam rising from my bowl made a cloud that drifted toward a ceiling lamp and dissolved in a halo, and that I could almost pretend I believed in perfect circles again. My mother was telling me about a cousin who had lost a tooth to a walnut, but had gained, she said, “a new smile that shows their courage,” and Lydia, who has always been both skeptical and tender, pursed her lips as if to hold an idea steady between them.

I looked up all of a sudden and I said, “Look.” It was not a shout, more the tone you use when the horizon shifts one millimeter and you aren’t sure if the sun has slipped or your eye has caught a new disease. No one looked. The conversation continued its pleasant scuttle. I said it again, louder this time, “Look.” They turned, almost reluctant to be called back into the immediate world around them. And this world—obedient, extravagant—unfolded itself for our inspection. A building across the way was falling. Not from an earthquake; I know the sound and movement of earthquakes, the way they first write their presence in the bones and only later spell out their cracked syllables on the streets. There was no grammar here, only an uncaused effect: the building across the wide street, as if admitting to a quiet exhaustion, simply divided itself in two like a loaf of bread, and the top portion exhaled forward, becoming a brown-red rain of bricks and splinters and glass confetti.

There were screams as precise as measurements. People filmed with their phones. Some people ran, and some did not. The upper stories—those rooms where people had slept and made soup and spoken into telephones—tumbled to the sidewalk, and all the air lit up with the friction of the falling. The corner awning fluttered, then vanished under a wave of matter. I heard a plate shiver on our table. My mother’s hand went briefly to her chest, Lydia’s fingers flexed on my sleeve, and I understood, not for the first time, that anything which stands is a little miracle pretending not to be miraculous.

Everyone seemed paralyzed, as if the film had been paused to force us to examine a single frame—bricks mid-fall, a woman with a dog mid-turn, a bus driver in mid-expletive. I stood. Then I ran out to the center line of Market street to see whether this was an isolated event or a general policy, whether the city had suddenly remembered something elemental, and if so, whether it would now proceed to remember everything else. Another building was bending forward, modestly at first, like an old man preparing to kneel; then not modestly at all. I ran back. “We have to go,” I told them. “This is going to be big. Don’t sit here waiting for a polite explanation. Move!”

They moved. I have never been a general, but that day I felt a brief sense of authority from the world. We crossed the threshold of the restaurant into a light that had sharpened, as if a hidden technician had dialed the saturation one notch too high. Dust whirled in the air. An officer shouted instructions. The city made the gestures of a city that has rehearsed disaster and now, startled, discovers that rehearsal has become performance. My mother clutched her purse as if it contained directions back to the past; Lydia’s jaw set, and I loved her for that. We angled across Market toward the side street where many people were jammed shoulder to shoulder. Then the road itself changed its mind.

A circle opened without rhetoric. A mouth of asphalt. A sinkhole is a word that sounds rural, a word that belongs to limestone caverns and warning signs near fences, yet here it was in the city, a coin of absence minted by whatever bureaucrat of gravity rubber-stamps these sudden permissions. We watched a parking meter tilt and vanish like a periscope slipping into the harbor. “Avoid the small sinkholes!” someone from the National Guard shouted. “They may become larger sinkholes!” It was the kind of tautology that carries the authority of truth: what is small wants to be large, what is quiet wants to be thunder, what is stable wants to remember its first instability.

We skirted the hole as if it were an animal scenting us. More police. More Guard. A woman in a bright jacket was pointing us toward a green corridor, a stitch of green park, some old veredas you could follow out of the downtown grid, veredas I had never noticed before. “This way,” she kept saying, meaning: any way that is away. The buses loomed; the wires above us looked suddenly delicate as spider silk. A man with a rolling suitcase stood and cried; his suitcase—the little house of his immediate life—tipped toward a fracture in the pavement but did not fall. “Keep walking,” I told my mother, who is brave in small steps and brave in large ones too.

As we walked, as the city behind us made new decisions about its contour, I remembered something as cleanly as a blade scraped across glass. My cousin Roberto and my aunt Gladis had visited us once. We had put them in a motel downtown because that seemed both generous and central, generosity’s geometry often following convenience. They had a car during the day but only went nearby. The desk clerk, a man afflicted with a sense of vague authority, had asked questions about their excursions. Roberto told me later: “He seemed bothered. Like: why did we go only around the block? Who knows why!” He laughed; but it was a laugh with the respect you give petty gods, petty guards. The city expects a certain theatre of movement; if your pattern is too small, some spy of normality marks you down.

We moved now in what the city would consider the opposite error: a movement too large, too decisively away. A sinkhole lipped open in the crosswalk ahead like an ugly rose. We cut left, then left again, threading between stalled cars. The Guard woman steered us to a path. The word vereda came back to me from El Salvador, where I had driven alone at night once upon a different kind of trembling. The moon had been bright that night, and I had taken the little pathways through fields the way a fox might, trusting the lacquered logic of the moonlight. Far off I had seen a tree luminescent, one of those grand ceibas that hold the sky like old servants. “El árbol de Dios,” I had said aloud, not to be pious but to offer a name: when you are small and afraid, even your metaphors crave a ladder with no top.

“Keep walking,” Lydia told me now, as if she had been the one driving that other night, and I obeyed. The path fed us into a strip of grass, then dirt. We moved farther from the geometric pitch of downtown. We saw a pod of small sinkholes that had not yet decided whether to hatch. We stepped over them the way you step over the memory of an insult: gingerly, with more ceremony than maybe they deserve. A child asked if the whole city would one day be a hole. His father said, “No,” with the ferocity of love, which is to say, a ferocity that knows it is lying a little for the sake of the hand it is holding.

Behind us: sirens in layers. The dust lifted its skirts and danced a little. My mother did not complain. She has known buildings that fall and voices that do not answer. She has known the stiff etiquette of official fear. When we reached a ragged strip of sand—some accident of landscaping or an old memory of shoreline preserved by municipal laziness—we stopped. The ground was soft here. Sand does not open like asphalt; sand only takes and gives as if by agreement. “Here,” I said. “Here we are safe from holes.” I said it to persuade the hours ahead to take their shape gently.

The sand reminded me of that other sand, the existential kind. We were in the middle of the city and also not. Market Street was a parable behind glass now. The buildings, those tall teachers, had changed their lesson mid-sentence, and we had walked out into the yard where the school’s chalk dust becomes evening. We stood there with other evacuees, a congregation of the temporarily reprieved, and I thought: it is always the same story. You are at a table. You have a mother, a lover, a cousin somewhere who cares too much about the wrong approval and too little about the correct insolence. You are famished and the plate is ordinary and this is grace. Then something topples, unreasoning. You are initiated into the thought that all reasons are after the fact. You walk. Your feet learn a new alphabet. The city tells you that walking is a sin and a cure.

We crossed the sand as if it would carry us all the way to a desert. In our mouths, the grit of the sand became theology. The Guard woman said something about buses; another officer mentioned a staging area; someone else handed out masks against the dust the city was producing as fast as it unbuilt itself. I watched Lydia tie the elastic around my mother’s ears, the tender clumsy act of fitting safety to a face. “You look like a small bird,” I told her, and my mother rolled her eyes and kept the mask on.

There is an intemperate exposure to sand. It receives you; it abrades you. In that sense the desert is honest: it will not pretend to offer coordinates unless you give it a star or persuade yourself of the presence of a god. The veredas we followed had not been made by municipal planners, they looked older than any plan; they looked like they had been worn into the city by the feet of people fleeing the various devils that take turns wearing uniforms. Desert is what remains after the map resigns. “This is not a geographic trip,” I told Lydia; “it’s existential.” She laughed because she knows when I get philosophical, the wind picks up inside my head. “It’s both,” she said. “And either way, let’s keep walking.”

In the days of my youth—when I believed that everything could be cross-referenced with everything else until the web of words made a net strong enough to catch the meaning that always jumped away—we would have seen the building’s fall as a symbol, and we would have written it down: bricks in the street, no earthquake; the way the light leaned on the dust, the way the bus driver’s hands stayed on the wheel like a prayer; the officer’s confident tautology about small holes becoming large. We used to say that the future changes the present, and so we wrote our omens forward to be remembered backward. I felt that tug in the sand: we were already recalling this hour from some later hour that might never come.

My cousin Roberto—this is how the mind works; it obeys a logic older than the city—waved to me across an imaginary street, laughing about the motel clerk’s disapproval. There is always a clerk that is not happy. There is always a desk that gives him authority. There is always a place where the world of symbols insists on a signature. There is always an index card where your name does not fit exactly. “A saber por qué,” he had said, and we had shrugged, and I had envied his cheerful refusal to be shrunk by invisible rules. I thought then of Aunt Gladis in the doorway of a room that smelled like old coffee and disinfectant, their luggage open like nervous suitcases whose mouths cannot close without biting something tender. The city watches you; the city wants you to be legible. It never quite trusts a pilgrim who circles the block like a satellite around an illegal moon.

The sand made conversation soft. People murmured oaths. From time to time we heard a distant metallic wrench as something else agreed to become rubble. A raven coasted over us, arrogant as always, a little priest in glossy vestments. The Guard woman talked into her shoulder and then told us there would be shuttles. My mother shook her head. “No,” she said with that particular Salvadoran refusal that is unanswerable by official doctrine. “We’ll walk.” She looked to me and Lydia, and we nodded. The city was inventing a temporary geometry; we would be our own guides.

We picked a bearing the way sailors once did—by unspoken story more than instrument. Through a belt of grass, across a second narrow beach of sand that did not know what ocean it belonged to, over a low rise where the wind braided itself into our hair. From that vantage point, the skyline looked broken but not humbled. I have never believed in punishment. I have believed, intermittently, in harsh lessons. The buildings, like us, had learned that balance is not an entitlement. “Do you think it was sabotage?” Lydia asked. “Or stress failure? Or just that the world has had enough of hard angles?” I told her I thought it was the most ordinary miracle: that the unseen workings, tired of being unseen, came out to make themselves known.

Some boys were playing in the sand because boys will play anywhere. One of them jabbed a stick into the grit and said, “This is the tower, and this is what it does,” and he pulled the stick free and left a hole that collapsed gently into itself until it was just a shadow. His mother called him away from our adult sadness. He ran gladly, because the world is catastrophic and glad, and the two qualities are not particularly opposed.

We rested on a lip of concrete that had no purpose other than to be a lip. From here I could see, not far away, a little stand of trees. One of them—taller, patient, lanterned by the light—looked like the brother of that Salvadoran tree, the one I had named God without humor. I told my mother. She squinted. “It will do,” she said. That is her theology: sufficiency elevated to devotion. We walked there. We stood under that green roof and let our eyes adjust.

If the desert is an exposure, the tree is an interlocutor. It does not close the world against you; it opens you to a moment of shade. The leaves made their private arithmetic of wind. Lydia leaned her forehead against the bark as if listening for a pulse. My mother took off her shoes and shook sand out of them and laughed, not because anything was funny but because something had been given back to her—some small piece of the child who once ran across yards barefoot and learned which patches of earth remembered the sun most keenly. I closed my eyes. For a moment I was driving again on a moonlit vereda, the ceiba rising ahead of me with its arms like a mnemonic of heaven. I thought: the machine sleeps, but sometimes it dreams us toward a kind of mercy.

When we opened our eyes again the tree was only a tree. That was also mercy. A helicopter stitched the blue sky. Far off, another siren drew a line under the paragraph of the hour. We were together. We were alive. We were the recipients of a borrowed instruction: avoid the small sinkholes, because they envy you your size and will become large as a kind of vengeance. We were disciples of a borrowed instruction: keep to the veredas, and if the map fails, you still have your feet. We were citizens of an interval in which eating with your mother could change without warning into a rehearsal for exile that is not entirely a rehearsal but is not yet the end.

Later, I would write it down in the language of my tribe: We crossed a zone of sand, and there the danger was diminished. There were no sinkholes in that granular expanse. It was a passage through the desert and the desert signified exposure. It was not a geographic journey, though our bodies insisted upon miles; it was an existential crossing in a country of grains without coordinate, a country where the compass is not wrong but obsolete. I would add: We kept moving until the city’s voice softened, until the brick-dust tasted less like iron and more like the mineral fact of sand, of being here, now, uncollapsed. I would add: a building fell the way a promise sometimes falls, for no announced reason; and we, who have lived among promises all our lives, did the one thing we could do worth doing. We walked out into the open, where the map ends and the tree waits, where the sand does not ask who you are, only whether you can stand and keep on moving.