tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86344806555412947142024-03-04T23:47:48.289-08:00Notes From The WastelandA Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.comBlogger374125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-38815053819022764362021-10-06T18:56:00.006-07:002021-10-06T18:58:57.226-07:00Where We Had Come From<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkHZSwGCFU99N7euIsaum3Ggc09Q7F4a1dNqzCqyidtiZP8LvqSm8CgpZPHQb6MyuR23PpDcammtxjzP32_mm5Sn8mHEveOSaCwJJk6MG0d27lb3x56MBOGsKdNItKAk22BCIKQ1Otn2k/s1200/0302+Blog+8+JC+001+sm.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkHZSwGCFU99N7euIsaum3Ggc09Q7F4a1dNqzCqyidtiZP8LvqSm8CgpZPHQb6MyuR23PpDcammtxjzP32_mm5Sn8mHEveOSaCwJJk6MG0d27lb3x56MBOGsKdNItKAk22BCIKQ1Otn2k/s320/0302+Blog+8+JC+001+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;">We lost track of ourselves in the desert<br />slowly becoming invisible<br />under the warm light <br />of the sun and the stars.<br /><br />For years, we had traveled the blue roads<br />creating new dreams each day and each night<br />pulling poems from red arching rocks,<br />from steep peaks of purple and forgotten giants.<br /><br />We came to realize<br />that it would all disappear<br />all that we knew,<br />even our bones<br />even our dreams.<br /><br />The many unanswered questions multiplied,<br />piling on top of each other like leaves<br />like dust on old memories <br />photos stored in tiny boxes.<br /><br />We tried to imagine the stories <br />which would emerge from the chaos,<br />tried to hold on to the signal <br />that seemed eager to float away <br />to leave with the fading light.<br /><br />We were whole for one moment<br />one brief instant caught and held in a passing blink.<br />For a flash we saw<br />and we sent out what we saw <br />out on the night breeze<br />hoping it would become a song,<br />a dream, a painting, a map; <br />far away from the big desert,<br />under the warm light <br />of the sun and the stars. <br /><br />Our project unraveled,<br />and brought us back where we had come from,<br />back to the very start<br />where there was only black chaos<br />and blinking sparks that came from the darkness<br />and went nowhere.<br /><br />Then I stripped naked and danced.<br />That was all that was left<br />for me to do.<br />To dance freely <br />one last time,<br />under the warm light <br />of the sun and the stars.<br /></p>A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-5351240637607899572021-08-03T18:20:00.001-07:002021-08-03T18:20:38.078-07:00The Whole and the Chaos<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuAdRt7vM5JOwYSOHxjnZcR0NnE5sSU5R-GdzPld7mrNh_4ALvpO_6qYNBoMPggoBkNepI8bdnplN5KUpnIN6lZPtIQBN2Xw0LNlC6DoROfz2v2TGXTi5XCPv96_1Ovi0UJx9_R4dZUP8/s1200/0302+Blog+7+001+sm.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuAdRt7vM5JOwYSOHxjnZcR0NnE5sSU5R-GdzPld7mrNh_4ALvpO_6qYNBoMPggoBkNepI8bdnplN5KUpnIN6lZPtIQBN2Xw0LNlC6DoROfz2v2TGXTi5XCPv96_1Ovi0UJx9_R4dZUP8/s320/0302+Blog+7+001+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></p><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The Whole
eventually emerged from the Chaos</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And it came
out naked and bright</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And slippery.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It was built
on poems and manifestos</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">a blend of
colorful paint </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">and crumbled
balls of newspaper.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I stood far
away</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And I watched
it moving </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">somewhere in
my mind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I felt the
breeze of its movement</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And I heard
the sound </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">of rustling
leaves overhead</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">and I felt
my heart beating </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">more and
more slowly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Chaos
slipped back into the shadows</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">like a wave
that slides back into the ocean.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I could
sense its low hum,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I could feel
the crackling of its low song.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And the Whole
grew bigger</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">brighter as
it moved, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">pulling in
more and more words</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">lines of
poems danced around it</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">forming
rings so large they sprouted hurricanes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">and all the
cities were drenched, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">pounded by
drops of thought</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">and walls of
words</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">and they
were all made new again</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">and slippery</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">almost naked
again as they once were</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">in their
gray color.</div>
<p></p>A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-22395100465089573592021-05-30T18:49:00.002-07:002021-05-30T18:49:24.905-07:00Sin Together<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8q1F8TaGHlpgHr5WaUdBdd10Ps22VGOddSTVneBqK4Y4lk4u64GyVj8Qh4vUEXFWFXb3qrzN6Ito4oQ0jeB0NKRhDObsKuZZd3ttRPW4TgKdj7Gm2IlPYkuwi29fVImZKXG8DBM81oE/s1200/0302+Blog+6+001+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8q1F8TaGHlpgHr5WaUdBdd10Ps22VGOddSTVneBqK4Y4lk4u64GyVj8Qh4vUEXFWFXb3qrzN6Ito4oQ0jeB0NKRhDObsKuZZd3ttRPW4TgKdj7Gm2IlPYkuwi29fVImZKXG8DBM81oE/s320/0302+Blog+6+001+sm.jpg" /></a></div><br />I who think<br />I am a creature of the solid world,<br />a shadow without a final shape<br />a blurry wave in the night<br />given form <br />through the dark art of succession.<br /><br />I have slowly chipped at the map,<br />the map I was given<br />the map I didn’t create<br />and I have blurred the lines-<br />what has no lines around it <br />cannot be defined.<br />It becomes a language without words <br />and changes its shape recurrently <br />and dissolves into the dream.<br /><br />It is Tuesday morning<br />and there is a curvature on the wind.<br />The sidewalk ends and we lock eyes.<br />I have seen her before<br />But not like this.<br />There is a sound somewhere <br />and then there is white, and then blue.<br /><br />I do not assume the triangle. <br />I do not assume a body or a breath.<br />We fly simultaneously,<br />breathing in a response to each other<br />that which is not yours <br />is mine.<br /><br />It is Wednesday night<br />I hear her footsteps<br />coming towards me.<br />The door of my room opens<br />and I jump towards it<br />I scream in the darkness <br />and she throws herself on top of me.<br />She is heavy on me<br />but not so heavy-<br />I could push her away<br />If I really tried.<br />But I don’t try.<br /><br />I know it is her<br />so I stay where I am<br /><br />The road we travel<br />begins somewhere beyond the doorway<br />and once on it, it is difficult to return.<br />We have sinned together<br />Sinned against the rules of the surface,<br />Sinned against the most fundamental laws.<br />We now move like silk waves in a lightning storm.<br />Only the mad know they have sinned<br />and we just dance<br />recoiling<br />retracting<br />hysterical.<br /><br />Then I have a thought. <br />I have never seen her tonight.<br />I don’t really know if it is her<br />All I know is a shadow in the darkness.<br />I feel as if she is biting me<br />through the sheets.<br />I offer some resistance,<br />I try to get up,<br />I push with all my strength.<br /><br />I who think<br />have found a new center of gravity <br />a center in the storm<br />a storm in the dream.<br />And what is not hers<br />is mine<br />And what is not mine<br />is hers.<br /><br /><p></p>A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-26387352407359504512021-05-05T19:57:00.004-07:002021-05-05T19:57:48.474-07:00Eye<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxgVyC_BS0lVghyldupjbyCdpjJyEU4BrrQx6KkT-3Mz36U6VZnOHNk_zxgFST2-5iovfkK5I37E2DtIyvj_5EbF34S68wfqCH7qL_ea3zDa5FDny2PWr-W1AppqsKzFLveogBx6eFt1k/s1200/0302+Blog+5+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxgVyC_BS0lVghyldupjbyCdpjJyEU4BrrQx6KkT-3Mz36U6VZnOHNk_zxgFST2-5iovfkK5I37E2DtIyvj_5EbF34S68wfqCH7qL_ea3zDa5FDny2PWr-W1AppqsKzFLveogBx6eFt1k/s320/0302+Blog+5+sm.jpg" /></a></div><br />I saw the main stairway of the old house<br />But it was closed, cancelled<br />The stairs continued into the lower darkness<br />into some kind of forbidden basement<br />a place I had never seen or been aware of.<br />This place was also closed, cancelled.<br /><br />I looked downwards<br />Into the darkness<br />And I saw<br />Or imagined I saw<br />an awakened eye<br />which was my own.<br /><br />I went to my room upstairs<br />it was more like a small apartment than a room<br />With a living room, a bathroom, a bedroom.<br />And on the white wall,<br />The one that faced the street<br />I saw <br />a single colored teardrop<br />seemingly fresh and alive.<br />Then I heard a loud noise <br />and the tear splattered<br />all over the white wall.<br /><br />I spent some time<br />making sure all the doors were closed and locked<br />I was certain there were other people close by<br />Wandering around the house.<br />I had some trouble locking all the doors<br />since I wasn’t sure <br />where they were all located.<br /><br />In the middle of rushing around<br />closing and locking everything<br />I heard a sound<br />That I somewhat recognized as my name<br />Then I heard it again<br />And I just heard it as a word<br />A word without a meaning known to me.<br /><br /><br />I walked down a long hall<br />Surrounded by gardens of grass and stone.<br />I could see other gardens in the distance<br />I saw a group of children <br />Led by two or three adults<br />They were all carrying candles<br />And raising them above their heads.<br /><br />The man who was in charge approached me.<br />He talked to me as if he knew who I was<br />And why I was there.<br />“It’s a beautiful house…”<br />He said.<br />And I responded:<br />“Yes, it really is..<br />But it’s a bit dangerous…<br />Specially for kids.”<br />I was thinking of so many levels,<br />So many ways to fall.<br />He said:<br />“It’s ok.<br />As long as you keep your eye on them.”<br /><br />Then the children came to me<br />And carried me like a precious jewel.<br />I became pink and new,<br />With a touch of purple<br />Maybe brown or light blue<br />Always on the verge of crying.<br /><br /><p></p>A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-51772276652376925802021-01-19T17:52:00.001-08:002021-01-19T17:52:20.757-08:00Pillow of Darkness<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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</p><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I lay on a
pillow of darkness</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">Pure black</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">Except for the
tiny flecks of light</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">Moving in
random patterns</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I imagine
intersecting lines</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">at 35-degree
angles from each other.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">they fade intermittently
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">and form
other shapes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I cannot
remember the shapes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I cannot
describe them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">xxx</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I feel as if
I disappear.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">perhaps for
a few moments</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">perhaps
forever.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I become
invisible</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">a thing that
was</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">but is no
more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">Xxx</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I hate the
graveyards</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">the long
lines of tombstones </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">lawns
overgrown with weeds </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">decaying
presents for the dead,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">weathered
teddy bears and deflated balloons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I hate the
roses left to decompose in the sun,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">To be later
thrown in metal dumpsters </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">like
forgotten dreams </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">unspoken
conversations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I hate all
of it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">the sales people</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">the ground
crew men in dirty pants</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">the people
looking for solace amongst quiet bones.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">xxx</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">i want
freedom</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">water</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">waves</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">I want to
slide into oblivion like the other nameless souls</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">come and now
gone.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">xxx</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">xxx</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">from stories
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moment,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">such a short
moment.</div>
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<p></p>A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-62779028201644224012020-06-09T18:56:00.000-07:002020-06-09T18:56:46.046-07:00The Climb<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4RKYsBHef2ZOwgQ2UvaL7ddO5cfpZrlgqY9d1vpw1XBcudveHjHHB0R_BSvtiRF7P2at2h4MdM0Z1estIjzi4OQ6u2t15rqKtxKF0IiS1OJUI5qxNzmdF_PgNrRYVEmvOYaWJGPKNeK8/s320/0302+Blog+3++002+sm.jpg" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We eventually dug our way out of the tunnel. It was bound to happen sooner or later. If we worked hard enough, we were bound to be successful. We had talked about it long enough. We had dreamt about it for so many nights that were like days, and we had sung about quietly during the days that were dark.<br />One night we clawed through all the muddled dreams, through the bright geometric nightmares, through unspeakably complex puzzles all made of dirt and branches and dust. And we did it with our own hands and we did it with our own voices and with our newfound language which easily disturbed and broke apart the thick walls of our established identities that had turned into heavy pieces of rock.<br /><br />I could feel the heavy force of gravity the entire time – pulling us down, down, down. I saw old symbols carved into the walls as we passed by and kept on moving and many times I slipped on the outstretched forms of a few equations and algorithms for which I had no understanding or explanation.<br /><br />Something may have helped us along the way, something that sometimes pulled us up, something leading us along through barely visible silver threads. But it had no name and it had no voice so we would never speak of it and we couldn’t have said anything about it even if we wanted to speak. We would never acknowledge its presence even among ourselves.<br /><br />Our improvised songs travelled out ahead of us like guides, then came back as echoes and told us of the future. We wouldn’t let any force stop us. Not fear, not hunger, not exhaustion. Nothing would pull us back, we wouldn’t let anything pull us back down. Sometimes when I looked ahead I saw the same nothing staring back at me, nothing behind, nothing ahead, nothing below us, nothing above. But I kept on digging, and I kept on singing and I kept on speaking.<br /><br />I awoke on the other side, naked and red with blood and bruises, encircled by cold and darkness. Bubbles clung to my skin, and the past dissolved behind us in a black puddle.<br /><br />We all walked away in different directions then and I never saw any of them again. I never even tried to search for them. When I think of them now, they have no faces and they have no names. I am not even sure that they ever existed at all.<br /><br /></div>A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-69658435669042547012020-03-27T20:06:00.000-07:002020-03-27T20:06:58.249-07:00The Quince Tree<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid-CYVhKAozG44uR3n9uV5tW5EBsXR7U8jOFWHgA7Kn_Eu14ZZeI7qUwBdKZzMXiFqWeX5Y7oKBts8QPCms7XdJpK4UqCVNYI9NKR-c5ZrTgx5quYM5BSNiwGx-qdCy9TUVnmetnyIZrQ/s1600/0302+Blog+2+JC+002+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid-CYVhKAozG44uR3n9uV5tW5EBsXR7U8jOFWHgA7Kn_Eu14ZZeI7qUwBdKZzMXiFqWeX5Y7oKBts8QPCms7XdJpK4UqCVNYI9NKR-c5ZrTgx5quYM5BSNiwGx-qdCy9TUVnmetnyIZrQ/s320/0302+Blog+2+JC+002+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The quince
tree stood in the distance, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
at the edge
of the dreaming desert.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It stood
illuminated in the moonlight,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And its
fruit glowed from within </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
like tiny candles
in the night.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
All around
the tree</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the ground
was dry and cracked and cool.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I had become
invisible to those that once knew me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I had
disappeared into the hot nothingness long ago,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
into the dry
wind of blue and yellow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I was
brittle now, but I was also an explorer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I would hitchhike
on the edge of sentences, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
and merge distant
worlds for a moment in the dark.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
No one knew I
was there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
On the edge
of the dreaming desert,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I remembered
a children's song from long ago:</div>
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little
darling fruit</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
you make the
perfect pie</div>
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I wrap you
up in sugar</div>
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and let out
a little cry.</div>
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Little
darling fruit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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I was alone
now, </div>
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a lone dreamer
within a vast dream.</div>
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The silver light
lit the desert floor,</div>
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alive with tiny
creatures of the night.</div>
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The dark leaves
shook, </div>
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the fruit on
the quince tree dangled restlessly.</div>
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I felt fear
hiding in my body,</div>
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in the void
explored in sleep,</div>
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in the
places where words hung suspended </div>
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like fruit
in the moonlight.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I knew that all
the secrets were everywhere,</div>
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In every
direction</div>
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around every
corner</div>
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all around
me</div>
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all the
time.</div>
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So I rubbed
by naked body against the bark,</div>
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and I lay on
the ground.</div>
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I closed my
eyes and </div>
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I was still
in the nothing.</div>
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Then I felt
the invitation</div>
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and I let a
response emerge <br />
from my mouth.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Two ancient
species spoke that night,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And they
made a connection </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
at the edge
of the silver light.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I would
never be alone again.</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-1283933548576555782020-02-25T04:21:00.000-08:002020-02-25T04:21:30.868-08:00Into The Nothingness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">He disappeared, nearly naked, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Dressed only in a long white garment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A white cloth </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">covered in numbers and geometric shapes.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">He slipped into the nothingness,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">into some place I will never know.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">(If I were to follow him,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">the me that can know would have left</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">and I would be left as naked as he was</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">unable to understand whatever I was
seeing.) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">He broke with the language of our world,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">and left behind only scattered fragments
–</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A poetic line</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A shopping list</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">An idea for a story</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">An argument not fully formed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">He left in a succession of slow breaths </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Which carried the old melodies we once sang
together,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">our voices strong and cracking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">He took with him </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A thousand stories we will never hear,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">food we will never taste,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">so many things I wish I learned, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">but I didn't.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">His face now appears on maps,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The kind I sometimes look at</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">but mostly I try to avoid them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">His face is quickly losing its shape </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">even though the map lines tend to
converge.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The story ends </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">and I cannot contain my wailing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I am left without numbers,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">with only a drone of ongoing pink noise</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">and a few mechanical glitches</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">now and then</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">a kind of broken rhythm,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">irregular pulsing.</span></div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-56275109950417482902019-09-05T19:35:00.000-07:002019-09-05T19:35:12.623-07:00Waves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
when she stopped
making art, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she became
angry,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
anxious,
irritable, resentful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she would watch
him draw horned beasts, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
using only
red and black pen on a white canvas.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she would watch
him outside a window </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
swirling
acrylics on metal surfaces.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she would
browse through her old drawings, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
or find a
stray red pencil in a drawer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
what had
once moved through her?</div>
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and where
did it go?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
early on,
when she had felt the first wave <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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she got
derailed</div>
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trapped by
her own need for affection</div>
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for
acceptance, for love. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she
abandoned everything to move in with a stranger</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she left for
the ocean.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
every
warning was ridiculed,</div>
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she
surrounded her thoughts with an iron fence. </div>
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her body was
burdened, </div>
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her lungs
were tight and closed,</div>
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and the
thing that once moved through her </div>
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became so
small as to be invisible. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she thought
about it for years.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
sometimes
she attempted a small drawing, </div>
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but she had
lost trust in her own hands.</div>
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she judged
the lines before they were complete, </div>
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saw herself
as another would see her, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
as another
might see her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
later she
fled, </div>
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or was cast
aside. </div>
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she escaped
the narrow path </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
of needles
and crime,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
lies and delusion,
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
denial and
fear.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she salvaged
what lay just inside the dumpster </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
and left the
rest</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
to become a
vague memory.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
and she found
herself in a room, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
staring out a
window.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
how long had
it been since she drew?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
he said to
her: <br />
'if you want to make art, make art.' </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
and she
stared at him</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
with tears
in her eyes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she thought
she had to wait </div>
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for
something to happen, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
for a burst,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
for an
explosion, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
for shapes
to break open the gates </div>
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and explode
onto the page.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she watched
him standing in the sun </div>
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just outside
the window.</div>
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he never
noticed her there, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
just a few
feet away. </div>
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the canvas
was on the ground on a blue tarp. </div>
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he let the
colors mingle, </div>
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then would
occasionally move </div>
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one side of
the canvas or another. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
After a
while</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
she went
back to her room.</div>
<br />
<br />A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-52892104997832472472019-08-11T02:39:00.000-07:002019-08-11T02:39:53.989-07:00Dead Worlds<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc7FjiNpc8YRpgG5UbkAzpcfDkmIx-9ZfJCQY18Q-Dn6A0YUoc9qwITyQd8spD2-uMB5MIntRy1AHtE3xDJ-7leLI2SSTshT-InYCNm63EjhZQHint7s0ARiJZhhofrJhHJcqfAdvDYfw/s1600/0301+Blog+7+-+JC+001+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc7FjiNpc8YRpgG5UbkAzpcfDkmIx-9ZfJCQY18Q-Dn6A0YUoc9qwITyQd8spD2-uMB5MIntRy1AHtE3xDJ-7leLI2SSTshT-InYCNm63EjhZQHint7s0ARiJZhhofrJhHJcqfAdvDYfw/s320/0301+Blog+7+-+JC+001+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
we called them dead worlds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
they were fashionable for a while</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
a blank slate where colored birds would roam</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
at one point I figured out how to cross the threshold</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
and I did visit a small one </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
before the end</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
it was simple enough,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I took the escalator and walked to the double doors</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
beyond I saw the flatlands</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I shivered when I saw the monkey cages</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
the millions of shoppers </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
the modern architecture that held a promise of headstones
and weeds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I made a conscious choice and shed the resistance</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I became smaller</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
more proper</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I was a consumer</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
and I dipped my hand into the fish tanks, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
swallowing minnows whole</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I surrendered to the oblivion</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
and pretended it was simple</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
a spiral of want and fetish and desire</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I abandoned my hopes and silver dreams</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I walked with the rest of them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
drawn with restless blood</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
over the winding streets and promenades</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I exchanged my vitality for the promise of something else</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
something held out in front of me like gold on a string</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
visible and intangible</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I moved in a lucid haze</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
my fingers turned green </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I was carried for a time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
then I carried others</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I learned how to sing a dozen different songs</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
later I awoke</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
on the other side of the double doors</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I saw the flatlands</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
the crumbled headstone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
the red and blue birds</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-83627524647527480612019-05-16T18:21:00.005-07:002019-05-16T18:21:59.993-07:00Golden Sphere<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFCOTn90EAz3Gv9z236NVzGZhUnLmQaV37uw32lahyZO1-HPC2r3tPDYs64LOYauADRD_ivLUwx8F3BG2aCXTGjrV1b7ekn8fuw0a8CgjRpPgdRGtItJDZdRBem9CJEhyBujzrZAJ_3Vo/s1600/0301+Detritus+Blog+6+jc+002+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFCOTn90EAz3Gv9z236NVzGZhUnLmQaV37uw32lahyZO1-HPC2r3tPDYs64LOYauADRD_ivLUwx8F3BG2aCXTGjrV1b7ekn8fuw0a8CgjRpPgdRGtItJDZdRBem9CJEhyBujzrZAJ_3Vo/s320/0301+Detritus+Blog+6+jc+002+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
The golden sphere rolls over the floor and the sound rattles
all of us. A delighted laugh is heard but no one is smiling. Not that I can
see. I look at each of the guests for a clue but nothing is revealed.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A woman with red hair is looking in through the window. The
sky behind her is black and full of stars.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
The golden sphere does not stop. It rolls between our feet, bumps
against the walls, gaining speed with each collision.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
My fingers tingle. I move them over my head and they leave colorful
streaks through the air, traces of my thoughts, left unguarded; my suspicions laid
bare for all to see.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
There is a wet scent of earth and trees, the subtle sound of
old men talking, a taste of herbal tea in my mouth. Nothing makes sense, nothing
fits together. There is no pattern, no sense of purpose or cause.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I have forgotten nearly everything by the time the golden sphere
hits my foot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Now the time has come. I need nothing else. Just my breath,
the sphere, the stars outside, and my thoughts, colorful translucent shapes
slowly fading over my eyes.</div>
<br />
<br />A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-28643631051827107952019-05-05T05:10:00.000-07:002019-05-05T08:13:41.675-07:00The Sealed Temple<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkPgcHr2g05A_-g1QhomwLPwny8WWrA7sogg4R4k-mTD0cB2qLVWMcw4A446CSmadYeLHg3He_tVpR2fF4tHUf_JBiLraYnb98_1nQXa_61uZKcZWHxh8jVag8yILi-Gr2BlFhrdkzVM8/s1600/Sealed+Temple+002sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkPgcHr2g05A_-g1QhomwLPwny8WWrA7sogg4R4k-mTD0cB2qLVWMcw4A446CSmadYeLHg3He_tVpR2fF4tHUf_JBiLraYnb98_1nQXa_61uZKcZWHxh8jVag8yILi-Gr2BlFhrdkzVM8/s320/Sealed+Temple+002sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
“Just as a pool is of little use when the whole countryside is flooded, the Book is of little use to us now. So we will read it everywhere. Together we will find it on the pillars, on the walls, on the street itself. It is present all around us.”<br />
<br />
At some level I know he is here to help me; or at least I believe he is sincere in his wish to help. But I am still hesitant to trust him completely. He is a stranger, a complete unknown, a kind of latent danger walking beside me. I look away even as he walks by my side.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
A large group of school children in uniform gather right in front of us. The boys wear green shirts and blue shorts, the girls wear blue shirts and brown skirts. A line of buses waits at the end of the block to take them somewhere else, a field trip of some kind.<br />
I overhear the children talking.<br />
“There is no God,” a boy says, “no truth, no spirit, no moral order. Nothing. The basis of life is sex. What else can it be?” <br />
“Lust is the highest that life can offer,” a girl answers in a mocking tone.<br />
“Fuck ‘til you drop!” another boy says. And they all laugh.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I see a single half lit gas lamp at the northern gateway to the Sealed Temple. ‘Maybe there is water behind these doors, maybe there is blood.’ Maybe there is only solitude.<br />
<br />
“You know me” he says.<br />
I nod. I know what he means but I can’t explain it, even to myself.<br />
Without a pause, he continues:<br />
"I think of you most often when I'm in airports. It’s the same for you." <br />
<br />
I see a white ghost standing by a stone pillar. I see her as somehow everlasting and infinite, standing on the motionless foundations of the Sealed Temple. She's missing a face, part of her head, her arms, parts of her hip and leg. She is still recognizably a woman even through the thick scales that cover her skin. I sense that she cannot be pierced or burned, she cannot be wet or dry, she can barely exist. <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
You will see a large skeletal bat flapping its dark wings above your head. You may look up but only briefly. If you look at it too long, it might look back at you. Then all will be lost..."<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
September 26<br />
<br />
A second cracked pillar was discovered today. <br />
At the base of the cracked pillar I found a little white bird. The bird was missing a wing and had a black mark above the eyes, on its head and on its beak. I took a photo of the black mark. I had seen this black mark before painted on a sidewalk. A small black box. Some kind of icon.<br />
<br />
The Builder says the pillars were constructed in January. The cracks could have happened any time after that. The Temple is expected to remain closed.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(With my old friend, I once met a man who taught people how to meditate. I sat among other young people that my friend had invited and I quietly listened to the man talk. <br />
At one point the man looked at me and asked me if I had read the Book of War and Understanding. I said I had read some passages but I had never read the whole thing.<br />
He looked at me quietly for a long time and then said:<br />
"There's no need to read it, you know? The Book is all around us right now if you only look carefully - if you know how to look."<br />
Later we did a group meditation. He asked us to imagine the night sky. I looked up within my mind and I saw that the stars had become numbers, zeros and ones flashing in the dark. I saw them glittering over a long cement bridge that was also covered in lights. <br />
I heard his voice then, talking very quietly to all of us:<br />
"This is a liminal place, a space of transition. Like an airport or a train station. A place where you are not there yet but you are no longer here.")<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
The Builder says the Temple has become a place where people feel afraid. <br />
“It's just not a safe place for kids or families. We have missed the mark. We have missed our opportunity.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(From the distance I saw the dome of the inner sanctum, covered in yellow and black. I couldn’t find my way inside that day. I might never be inside. Not even within my mind. The trees waved in the wind up above me, like a forest suspended in the air - a forgotten paradise floating in the sky.<br />
The meditation teacher said: “You will return to this place many times. This place is yours. As you return to it, it will become more and more specific, more and more real. Eventually you may not be able to tell any difference between what you think is real and this place you have created in your mind.”) <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
The Builder made very clear promises.<br />
“You will be able to enter and leave the Temple at any time. For periods of seconds, minutes, hours or years. Enter at any time. Leave at any time. The choice is yours.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I saw a simple greeting written in orange letters. It was nailed over a door made of silvery steel.<br />
Large orange letters with an exclamation mark to emphasize them: “Welcome!”<br />
But the doors were closed and the greeting was empty and touched with a melancholic sadness.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I met a man by the side of the road. He asked me if I had read the Book of War and Understanding. I told him I hadn't. I said: “I’ve read some pages here and there. Or people have read them to me. But no, I have never read the whole thing.”<br />
He smiled and said: "No need to read it now. That time has passed. Instead, I will guide you through it. We will walk together around the perimeter of the Sealed Temple and the Book will reveal itself to us. Its pages are even now wrapped around the Temple and over the streets that surround it. The Temple may never open again. But all that matters is that the Book is easily accessible. You can walk by it and not be aware of what you see. I will show you how to find it and I will show you how to follow the shifting shape of its thoughts.") <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I see crystalline flowers flipping back and forth on elastic stems, a dance of wind and weight and color, a gentle teasing - the flowers get very close to each other but they never touch.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
You will see three musicians made of bronze and silver dancing slowly through time, so slowly they may seem to be standing still; but the movement will always be there, the dance will continue. You will see bolts holding their limbs together and the curves of their bodies will draw shapes over the sky. The musical pulse will be so slow as to be physically heavy, the beat will be so long as to be lost for days… and even longer. <br />
These musicians have no attachments. They are equally disposed towards their family, towards their enemies, towards their friends, to those who support them and to those who are hostile, to the good and the evil alike. They are unaffected by the results of their music; <br />
even while playing, they really do nothing at all.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I see a black tree in the shape of a church. A sign on the tree announces that this is a public place, a place where anyone can sit, where anyone can talk and rest and meditate.<br />
But it warns that there will be no sleeping here. Sleeping is not allowed.<br />
<br />
“You ask yourself who I am, how is it that you know me, how is it that I know you.<br />
What I can say is: of all that measures, I am time. I am the destroyer of all; my hunger consumes the world. But my hunger never ends, and the world is infinite.”<br />
<br />
I see triangles over cubes over rectangles over more triangles, pure shape, pure form. I sense that this is where it all comes from, and this is where it all goes. <br />
I sense the man nodding even while I look away. I haven’t said anything out loud.<br />
<br />
Whenever I turn around to see him, his face has been subtly transformed, as if the light is changing it. It makes me feel dizzy, confused. It makes me feel as if, even while walking outside, I am alone in a small room with this one other person, a familiar stranger, someone I can almost recognize.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
September 25<br />
<br />
Today a crack was discovered in a steel beam beneath the hanging forest. The beam is on the eastern side of the third level of the Temple. The entire Temple was immediately evacuated and closed. <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Builder fights for his creation, knowing he has no way of winning. But he does it anyway. The worse thing that could happen is for him to deny his destiny, his true nature as a Builder. He would then be lost, lost in an endless ocean, a ship without a port. He could stay lost for a very long time, even forever.<br />
The only way to avoid this aimless drift is to continue to be a Builder, even if he is now the Builder that failed. He will forever be remembered as a failure.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Temple was a lively place for a brief time. There were two restaurants and a bar, which was happily and noisily patronized at night. There were two stalls actively selling newspapers, magazines, sandwiches, drinks, candy and cigarettes. The stalls were open from dawn until late at night. (Of course, the Temple itself was open at all times.) People constantly circulated in and out. Many of them simply wanted to have a look inside. There was once an arcade located close to the third gateway. The arcade was seedy, as was the surrounding area outside. <br />
I used to play cards in the arcade. I would play for an unusually long time. When nobody was around to play with me, I would just arrange the cards in different orders. In some way they spoke to me in a language only I could understand. On one card was a white flower with wide open eyes, a white flower sliding up on waves of red and yellow. Another card had a single dripping blue point, under it there were blue curving handwritten letters.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“There is a sign that clearly states our destination is beyond reach. It is painted in light green letters over a surface of dirty white metal. It has recently been repainted in red emphasizing its primordial warning. The hanging forest has many gateways, many ways to enter, many ways to leave. Today they are all closed. We don't know if they will ever open again.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(Suddenly it becomes clear. We should have died that night. That was the night of our death. The night when the soldiers took us away. Suddenly I don’t see it as something bad that could have happened, but simply as something that should have happened, something predetermined and certain, an integral piece of the overarching framework of reality.<br />
But we didn’t die. And from then on we have lived in a kind of after life, a life beyond death that leads to a kind of flight, a levity that allows us to fly freely above life.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
He speaks again: <br />
“When your mind finally overcomes the confusion of good and evil, of certainty and solid absolutes, you will attain a state of holy nonchalance. Then, and only then, you will be able to hear the things you hear, and see the things you see. Until then you will remain blind.”<br />
<br />
I see a couple of giant bloodshot eyes. They stare up and out from under a giant leaf. It seems to me as if they are full of hunger and yet they also hold a certain hint of doubt. The mouth is hidden by the leaf, the head is absent.<br />
I see tall long rectangles of darkness surrounded by pillars of gray stone. I feel a sense of solid permanence. People come and go all around me. The Temple remains.<br />
<br />
“You have always enjoyed talking with mysterious strangers who stop you on the street, isn’t that right? Sometimes they speak to you as if they know you. Right? I am just one more. Just like the others. And you can listen to me, just like you have listened to others before. <br />
I am the process and the pain; I am a living drug and the sound that emerges from the breakdown. I am a kind of gift and the fire which consumes it. And you? You happen to be the one to whom this is offered. Today. Right now.”<br />
<br />
I see concentric circles around a black box. We stand together at its immediate perimeter. There are other larger circles around us, larger and larger circles getting lost in the distance. We are so close to the center and yet the Temple remains sealed.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
You will see flowers birthing interstellar biological spaceships and complex sentient servants made of light. You will see a living garden of delights extending in all directions.<br />
Here you will learn of the five elements, the five elements necessary for the completion of every wish and effort. You will need the body, constructed from binaries that flash across the night. You will need the means, which are predetermined and remain steady. You will need the mind, through which the garden will lose its randomness. You will need the action that may lead you to fall into a state of knowledge. And you will need the secret will, which you must never allow to fall into decay. These are the five elements in all possible actions, right or wrong, good or evil, selfish or selfless, dark or bright.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
August 10<br />
<br />
After so many years of work, the Temple is about to open to the general public. It is six levels tall. Two additional levels are underground. There is a hanging forest above it and around it, and giant metal spires reach up to the sky like frozen rocket ships. The perimeter is covered in a kind of lacy shawl - a reminder that something fluid and feminine lives among these heavy towers of concrete, among these rivers of steel and asphalt. The insides of the Temple are composed of curving paths that lead visitors through different chambers and halls. In order to create a structure that blurs the distinction between roof and ground, the hanging forest integrates vegetated hills with giant domes that allow light to go through to the halls below. <br />
A solitary woman in a dark thick jacket and a knee length skirt waits for the doors to open for the very first time. She tightly holds onto her purse.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(As I continued to see the glittering stars above the cement bridge, the meditation teacher spoke again: “All these visions before you are radiations of your own thoughts. These are your thoughts shining down upon you. They haven’t come from anywhere else or anyone else. They’re yours and yours alone. Don’t become attracted to them- don’t become weak or afraid. Stay in the mood of a man witnessing his own body drifting down a river. Don’t try to grasp at anything. Don’t try to stop the flow of the water.”)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(Many years later I found myself inside a small plane. Beneath us was the city I saw when I was a boy. I recognized the clock tower, the bridge and the waters of the bay. I could even see the dome of the temple, the spires seemed so close I felt the urge to reach out and touch them. To my young self, this looked like an exotic and romantic place. I could see masses of people going everywhere, a throng of ants moving in all directions. A boy in a sleeveless jersey and long blue shorts, a woman in a blue dress that showed her bare shoulders, a tall black man wearing a white hat backwards, holding a phone in his hand.<br />
With me in the plane were two young girls I barely knew. They were looking for a man I used to know; an old friend, a friend I hadn’t seen in many years. They had asked for my help in finding him and I had agreed. From the plane, we looked in every corner, every street, every empty lot. But it was impossible to find him no matter how carefully we looked and by the time we landed, I was ready to give up. I felt as if we were hungry ghosts looking for something we would never find.<br />
Later that night, the girls managed to find my old friend in the flashing darkness of a dance club. <br />
Both of them rushed towards him with wide open eyes and mouths. My friend looked like a giant next to them, a thick solid brown giant covered in tattoos and scars. They looked like vicious tiny wasps running after him. It then became clear that they were very angry and they were looking for some kind of payback or revenge. If I had known this, I would never have agreed to help them in their search. I left the club right away, unwilling to be part of this unfolding scene. I heard later that there was violence and blood in one of the club’s bathrooms. My old friend got taken away by the police and I never saw him again.<br />
I felt sympathy for him. I knew what it was like to be taken away by fearsome men with guns. One night my mother and me got taken away. We were meant to die that night. It was all agreed and pre-established. But somehow we didn’t die. There’s a kind of privilege in living beyond the night of your own death. I see us now as ghosts, beings beyond death whose only goal is to explore the dark, to search and search, without any clear sense of what we are looking for or what we can find.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“I remember when I’d stop in at a store in the lower level to buy candy, nuts, juice, magazines and even a plant. I loved to walk past the cocktail lounge and look inside.” <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
A thin old woman approaches us. She holds an even thinner old cat in her fragile hands. She looks at me and speaks:<br />
"She's getting so thin. I've tried wet food and animal vitamins. I took her to the vet. He offered nothing but a lack of bright ideas. We've lived together for 9 years. She helped me find a home. She never judged me... she was the best friend I ever had! Maybe there’s still hope somewhere nearby, somewhere I can't find at the moment"<br />
And then she walks away. <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
I have given no persons permission to sleep, lie or in any way remain within the doorway to my Temple while the doors remain closed.<br />
It must be understood that perception is higher than matter, and your mind is higher than your perception. Above your mind is the sign, and above the sign is the eye. Once you know what is most high, let the eye remain open. Read the sign above your head: ‘Wake up’<br />
Once awakened your first impulse will be to triumph over your enemies. Don’t forget. This is not just the Book of Understanding. This is also the Book of War. It is not enough to Understand. It is also necessary that you fight. It is precisely through this violent victory that you will know <br />
that you have finally come up from the abyss of deep sleep. It is only through the violent struggle that you will finally open your eyes.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I can’t help but think of her, of her hopes and dreams, of the things she was told and the things she believed. She still believes she can unseal the Temple, or that she must try. Or that she must appear to be trying.<br />
At this moment, I know that I don’t need to change anything. The Temple is precisely as it is and as it will be. As it should be. As it ever was.<br />
I can explore it, I can walk its long perimeter, I can find new things each time I come around. Here and now I live at the doors, I brush my hands at the gates, I feel the subtle shaking of the pillars.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“I understand it’s hard to look at me. But listen. Something that may seem like poison at first,<br />
may taste like nectar in the end… this is the joy of walking the perimeter, the joy that emerges from a mind at peace with closed gates. I stand next to you, as the taste of cool water when you are thirsty, the radiance of the sun when you are cold. I am the gentle word that alleviates all fears, I am the sound that makes your heart burst, I am the courage that makes you human. I am the smell of wet earth and the red burning of the fire; I am life. You don’t have to turn around yet, but you will.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
July 10<br />
<br />
“The hanging forest will be open to everyone. The Builder says he envisions school children coming through for tours and lessons under the shade of the tall trees.<br />
‘When you climb high above street level and you find a dark dense forest, your perception changes,’ the Builder says.<br />
The hanging forest will also be accessible by plane.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(When I closed my eyes, I looked for indications for when and where to enter and found all the doors crossed over by yellow tape. All the gateways had been annulled, forbidden, placed on permanent hold. It may take a while before this place opens again, I said to myself.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I went back to that night of nights, and I saw a ghostly cup which held a tiny blue bottle inside.<br />
I knew immediately that the blue bottle held some kind of deadly poison. It had been waiting so long for us to arrive. I saw again that I had been given a kind of privilege. We had left the blue bottle unopened. Somewhere it still waited for us. But for now we could fly high above the city and explore it without any rush.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I say the teacher’s words softly to myself: All these visions are radiations of my own thoughts. They haven’t come from anywhere else or anyone else. They’re mine and mine alone.)<br />
<br />
I saw four white arrows that pointed towards each other in a self referential circle. The circle wrapped upon itself. At its center was a simple message: "Too much information can make you fall within yourself. It may then be difficult to find a way out."<br />
<br />
I saw a mountain of many colors, all these bright waves of color slipping and sliding against each other. I saw a kind of mouth at the top of the mountain, a gaping mouth hinting at a deep hunger, a restless appetite for disintegration.<br />
<br />
(I won’t become attracted to these visions, I won’t become weak or afraid. I will stay in the mood of a man witnessing his own body drifting down a river. I won’t try to grasp at anything. I won’t try to stop the flowing motion of the water.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“A struggle developed between two opposing factions - one faction hated the very idea of the Temple; the other faction wanted to defend it. <br />
The faction that hated the Temple wanted to destroy the very process that would lead to its construction. The Builder wanted to set the process moving again but he had made a mistake.<br />
According to the Builder (this was narrated by him many years later, after all these events were almost forgotten history) one night a stranger appeared in his office and spoke to him as if he knew him, as if they were old friends that hadn’t seen each other in a very long time.<br />
The stranger said: ‘You have been an idiot in the way you have dealt with these things.<br />
I will guide you but you have to obey me.’<br />
The Builder, realizing he had no choice, agreed to obey.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I have always talked to strangers who stop me on the street. Especially the ones that speak as if they know me. I am one of a million diverse forms, an infinite variety of color and shape. Among all those forms, these strangers seem to recognize something in me, something they think they know. The least I can do is listen to what they have to say.)<br />
<br />
I see an old chariot left behind by the side of the road. Its sides are a bit rusty, the paint is fading and falling away. But it still retains some element of its former glory. I can almost see the outline of the powerful individual that once commanded it into battle; the supreme War commander who entered the field of battle and offered death while manifesting life.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
They should have died. Soldiers took them in the middle of the night. That night they should have died. It would not have been good or bad, it would have simply happened. That is all that death is. Something that happens. And it should have happened to them.<br />
On the perimeter of the Temple there are only two orders of creatures: the perishables and the ever changing forms. They were perishables and they should be gone by now. Now they live beyond their death. Now they live by the side of the road, in the afterlife.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
He stands for a moment and points up at a sign above a gateway.<br />
“The Temple is closed. It will remain closed from some time in the past to some time in the future. The secondary streets will also be closed during this window of time. Invisible guardians will remain on site. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.”<br />
<br />
I see bright red arrows that curve and turn and point in all directions over a surface of gray and white; broken, cracked, dirty.<br />
<br />
“Stay close to me. We can enjoy a kind of solitude as we stray away from the crowd. This is how you read the Book. This is how you seek the knowledge of the Temple while the gates remain closed. Of course you wish to enter. To seek anything else is ignorance. But you will forever remain outside. This is where you belong.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
June 5<br />
<br />
“Following many years of construction, the Temple is almost ready to open. <br />
A dirty homeless man outside the construction site loudly proclaims its imminent closure: <br />
‘The pillars will shiver and crack, the beams will start to break. The Temple may open but its glory won’t last long! Once it closes, it will be closed indefinitely. Entire generations will come and go and the Temple will remain closed!’<br />
The Builder continues to struggle but he has a growing sense that he has no chance of success. He continues to struggle anyway. The worse thing that can happen is for him to simply surrender. He would then be lost, like a ship in an endless ocean, and he would stay lost for a very long time.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
The Builder once claimed that he had seen a giant female creature made of black ink<br />
bathed in rainbow blood. By that point nobody paid any attention to anything the Builder had to say. He was at best an obscure joke, at worse a pathetic figure erased by time. His head was bent low and he was getting ready to die. His face was a mask of deep regret and sorrow.<br />
In a voice barely louder than a whisper, he said:<br />
“Both of us were naked, together. She was being very playful and flirtatious. I didn’t understand why. Why would she come back to visit me after all this time? ‘Here’s what I can finally tell you. There is no God,’ she said to me, ‘no truth, no spirit, no moral order. Nothing. The basis of life is pleasure; what else could it be? Lust is the highest that life can offer.’<br />
I refused to make love to her and eventually she got very quiet. Her expression was a mixture of sadness and anger. Then she made her way out of my room through a rip in the red fabric that formed the walls. Neither of us ever said goodbye.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(One day I received a single written note from an old friend I had not seen in a very long time. The note had only a single word written on it: my friend’s name and an exclamation mark. I closed my eyes and pictured him floating on the surface of a tall blue wave or maybe sitting on a small fishing boat off the coast of El Salvador. I saw him putting on a black hat. Something I might have seen in a children's book. I sat in front of him, eager to finally talk to him again.<br />
I tried to tell him something I had seen, something I had been wanting to say for many years but I had never been able to say it. It was hard to say it - not just hard, but impossible. So I mostly listened as he told me about his life off the coast of El Salvador and where and how he had found the black hat.<br />
Later that night we played with a set of cards with pictures on them. We played for a hours and hours. We both kept arranging the cards in different sequences. One card had a bridge floating over green cubes. The cubes repeated endlessly in all directions. Another card had a few clouds on it. Another card had a few birds. Another card was just a picture of an empty sky.)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(When I think back, I imagine a small room. There’s one other person in the room with me. Their face keeps on changing subtly - sometimes it’s a man, sometimes it’s a woman - sometimes I recognize the face, sometimes it seems to be a complete stranger. The light keeps on changing.<br />
I don’t know how long I’ve been in this room. But I know I’ve been talking and talking and talking for a very long time.) <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
You will see a green arrow wrapped around a broken circle. The arrow will come from nowhere and it will point to nowhere. The inner circle will be broken but complete. Above it, in large block letters you will see the word: system.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
During an afternoon walk, I meet a man on Market Street. He stands behind a table covered in books and pamphlets. He asks me if I have read the Book of War and Understanding. I tell him I have read some pages. <br />
“When I was young, my mother would read it to me. She was always into these kinds of things. But I have never read it in its entirety.”<br />
He says: "You should read it. I will give it to you. But I will do more than that. I will guide you through it. All the stories and poems in the Book are written on the walls of the Sealed Temple. But they are hard to see and hard to comprehend without the codes hidden inside. You know, the Temple may never open again. But I will show you how to read the Book anyway. The young think that knowledge and action are different, but I will show you that they are the same. I will show you how to find the Book through action, and I will show you how to follow the shifting rhythm of its thoughts." <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
(I had thought of the Temple as a place to meet, a place for people to come together, to find each other and then leave. But maybe these meetings were too fleeting, too fast. I had thought of it as a kind of hive, a dome covered in curved yellow lines over a textured black background. Maybe at the boundary between yellow and black there was a secret entrance. But I didn’t have the power to open this secret passageway, even if I imagined that I knew of its existence.) <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
As we walk, I overhear a couple talking among themselves.<br />
“In the end, the Builder is real.”<br />
“Yes, based on the story he tells in this book, he could be the author himself.”<br />
“No, but the thing is… that doesn’t prove anything.”<br />
“No, nobody is talking about proving anything… we’re only talking about what we’ve seen, what we have felt through our intuition. Of course none of it is real. It ultimately makes no sense.”<br />
<br />
I see paths that wrap around themselves like snakes, I see a multitude of cars driving upon gray surfaces. All the cars are red and the paths have no entrances or exits.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
You will find yourself underwater; your will paralyzed, your mind confused. There will be a red squid on your right and a blue fish to your left - the water will be clear but dense. You will feel a yearning to stay there, to close your eyes and slowly float downward.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
February 15<br />
<br />
“The roof of the Temple will be covered by a hanging forest. It is our intention that this forest should become a kind of liminal space of transition for the many who come to visit. Similar to an airport or a train station but, we hope, with a deeper resonance. We wish to inspire a feeling of being suspended between the known and the unknown. Giant spaceships will land here and you will be able to stand next to these spaceships. ‘It will be a true miracle when it is complete’ said the Builder during a conference. ‘Anyone will be able to enter and leave the Temple at any time. They will be able to remain inside for periods of seconds, minutes, hours or years. We will be ready and equipped for all possibilities.’”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I was walking on Fremont street one afternoon when I found a kind of handwritten map that outlined the city in a very rough way. I noticed that certain blocks of Market street had been marked with a peculiar little symbol, a small black box. On the back of the map, in barely legible handwriting, were the words: "don't try to find me"<br />
I walked into a supermarket and found something to drink. Then I very slowly made my way towards Market street. <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
The thought keeps on recurring within me. ‘He is here to help me.’ But I remain unsure, suspicious, afraid. So I still look away. Even as we continue to walk together in circles, large concentric circles. <br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
“The Book says:<br />
I will give you two measurements. With them you will construct the black box. The measurements are two and four fifths and eight and a half. That will be all I will tell you.<br />
You may have to work on this for a very long time. As long as the project remains unfinished you will be a ship lost at sea unable to find a port. If you renounce your wish to finish, there will be hope. The wish itself is an obstacle. As long as you continue to work, there will be hope.<br />
Strangers will say they want to help you, and some of them will be thieves and some of them will be lost and hungry and some of them will be friends but only friends and nothing more and some of them may actually help. Those will be very few and far between.<br />
Above all, do not despair, do not fall into sleep. If and when the box is finally finished, you will hold it close to your face, close to your ears and eyes. You will then see a golden circle slowly come to life around you. And large glowing flowers will glitter before your eyes. Large orange letters above your head will announce your arrival.”<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
The man stops walking and turns his head. I stop as well, just as he stops. <br />
“Turn towards me. It’s time.” He says.<br />
I turn hesitantly. <br />
“What do you see?” he asks me.<br />
I am unable to answer out loud. What I see are infinite mouths and arms, but only one man. I see infinite eyes but only one face. I see one body pregnant with all possible forms. I see him everywhere, without beginning, middle, or end. And yet he is here, now, under the sun. Finite, vulnerable, fragile. <br />
His eyes are shining with tears; his mouth is about to open but he has said enough. The Temple stands behind him glittering in an array of bright colors, its long spires touch the sky. <br />
I look at him and my heart opens painfully. I have lost all sense of place or time. <br />
“Do you remember me?”<br />
“Yes, I do.” I finally answer. "I think of you most often when I'm in airports. When I’m getting ready to fly." A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-89138128462031007892019-02-10T19:55:00.001-08:002019-02-10T19:55:58.128-08:00Divide<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
The candlelight</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
was weak,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
about to fade away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
The winter had laid us bare,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
but the trees</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
encircled us,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
made for us an</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
unassuming home.<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
In his arms</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
there was a tenderness</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
something unusual.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I sensed a seeker</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that had dropped </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
old attachments</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and penetrated the </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
thousand-year divide</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
between lives.<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
In his words</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
were ancient whispers,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
an electric promise</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
radiating through the ocean</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and flowing to the stars.<br />
<br />
The journey</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
was about to begin</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
fresh and new</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
ancient and arcane</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
ageless and eternal.</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-20667491128171449732018-12-20T20:42:00.000-08:002018-12-20T20:42:22.957-08:00Hidden Patterns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
on the floor was the poet <br />
young women at his side<br />
kissing his fingers <br />
without rest<br />
and the stars above <br />
flooded the night<br />
<br />
he kept his mind on the words<br />
with great discipline<br />
creating and re-creating <br />
the hidden patterns<br />
and putting them into<br />
larger constructions,<br />
organizing their strange gifts<br />
<br />
the women lay flowers at his toes<br />
and sent their sweet breath towards him <br />
with messages and secrets<br />
<br />
he inhaled the chaotic structures <br />
that came from them<br />
and began to cry<br />
transforming the stars, <br />
the kisses<br />
onto pages <br />
in his never ending book<br />
full of questions<br />
and vast pregnant gaps</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-43700623841578098732018-11-23T19:29:00.000-08:002018-11-23T19:29:43.944-08:00Valencia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_01"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Almost
all the residents live behind bars. That tells you everything you need to know,
right? Add in a covering of graffiti and a layer of trash and you get the idea.
I don’t see anything remotely interesting about this place.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Palm trees,
Jehovah's witnesses preaching with hand held megaphones, a long line of drunks
and drug addicts, Latin girls laughing loudly and shamelessly, a fat white man
in a dirty button up shirt dark with sweat. I pass by three black men with a
boom box blaring the sound of 70s soul music. I feel tempted to tell them that
I used to listen to that very same music in a place very far away, a place they
will probably never see in their lives, a remote place full of legends and
violence. But they’re busy talking to each other so I let the thought pass by. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The whole place
smells of urine, especially close to the walls farthest from the BART entrance.
A sign says: “This is not a bathroom.” Too late for that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Ahead of me on
the BART escalator I see a young girl in a dirty white t-shirt and gray sweat
pants. The pants are nearly falling off her, showing the crack of her ass a few
inches away from my face. The skin of her lower back is soft, white and covered
in tiny nearly invisible blond hair. She leans against the handrail in a
gesture of exhaustion. A flier on the wall reads: “The Black Mass… delicious
cumbias, hot rhythms…” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Later, on 16<sup>th</sup>,
I see the same girl walking next to an older black man. She stops and turns
towards him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“We’re here. We
might as well go. Right? We might as well go. He’s been waiting for a long
time.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">She holds up
her sweat pants with her right hand while she talks. I imagine a passionate
love story and a climax about to happen. Most likely it’s only a drug deal.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Mission street
itself is dirty, noisy, busy and enchanting. It’s almost like going somewhere
else, somewhere outside.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I see thousands
of purple dots spreading over black and white shapes, surrounded by larger
purple circles with black and white faces in the middle of them. “One dot
represents a housing unit served with a no-fault eviction. The actual number of
displaced people is significantly higher…” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A curving
transparent banner answers with the words “Only God.” Underneath someone has
added in black marker: “…holds grudges.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A psychedelic
death apparition rises from the asphalt. She has tall purple hair, blank white
eyes, a bright red heart over her third eye, white fangs tattooed over her
mouth and cheeks. Two small pink wolves float around her shoulders. A bright
star trickles down from her bright white right eye.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Her mouth opens
and she speaks to me in a soft seductive voice:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Here is the
final resting place where one can still find a love that transcends all time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">But you must
keep your eyes wide open, you must have your ears ready to hear.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_02"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A
middle-aged drunk man in ripped jeans and a ripped half open flannel shirt
looks up at me from the sidewalk. “Change?” he says in a demanding voice. When
I look down at him, he repeats in a louder voice: “Change?” Then he pushes an
upturned yellow hat towards me. He points to the hat with his index finger,
skin wrinkled, dirty nails, tattooed forearms. “No, sorry.” I say. He turns
away to look for the next potential donor. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Next to him I
see a hopeful twist of words: “We’re not divided. We’re just not together…”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I’ve heard this
was once known as the street of the witches – “la calle de las brujas.” Maybe
some time in the past women practiced some kind of witchcraft here. Maybe they
were just pagan healers. Maybe they were just Latin women who inspired both
lust and fear with their dark eyes. Or maybe they were nothing at all. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Maybe this
street of witches becomes more mysterious when night falls, maybe it becomes a
dark alleyway with an aura of arrivals. Now, in the daylight, a sad blue robot
stares at a bright red flower. Plumes of pink smoke spill out from its joints.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A poem calls
out to me, black letters over a green background.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“The people</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Live, then fate</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Obey. Darkness</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Dissipates and
must</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Give way…”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The poet is the
City itself. And the audience is the City as well. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A lonesome
creator talking in an empty room full of oblivious ghosts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“It's a little
surreal, like being in the middle of a zombie movie.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A simple white
sticker reads: “Smart phone. Dumb head.” But another sticker reaches out to
give a response: “It’s too late. I’m addicted to the game.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A blue bear in
a yellow shirt instructs me to “hella resist!” His mouth is open in rage, his
left fist is raised in brave defiance. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Then I see a
single message - a white background surrounding letters made of absence. “We
Will Not Be Silent”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“This is the
real San Francisco. Not the Financial District, definitely not Fisherman’s
Wharf.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">This is the
real thing. This is what I wanted to see when I came here.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_03"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A
heavy set girl leans back on the passenger seat of a parked car. Her head is
only barely visible, her eyes scan her surroundings with a tangible sense of
paranoia. She alternates between scanning and looking at her cell phone which
she holds in her right hand. When I step close to take a photo of some fliers
pinned up on a pole she looks up at me with blatant distrust. I turn away from
her and point my camera at the pole. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A post office
label, upside down, words written in black marker, barely legible: “King Baby:
Remember to Forget” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A hand sized
band sticker announcing its single message in black letters crisscrossed with
white lines: “Boom!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Below it, a
command: “Paid advertisement. Do not remove.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Another band
sticker establishes its philosophical and practical commitment: “We only play
music we have never played before!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I look at the
girl in the car one more time as I walk away. Her eyes are still scanning,
still unsure of my intentions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A black sticker
with large white letters: “Jesus. The way, the truth, the life.” A large fat
Buddha squats to the left, a serpent skull tattooed over his heart. A smaller
sticker with a single disembodied hand gives the whole scene the finger. “Fuck
off Jesus! Fuck off Buddha! Fuck off serpent! Fuck off heart!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">There’s a hole
in the window of a restaurant. I look through it. A man stares out at me
suspiciously from inside.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“We walked down
16th in the morning and a vagrant was lying on the ground. We walked back in
the evening and he was still there, motionless. Was he dead? Everyone just
ignored him. Ultimately, we ignored him too.” <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A large black
woman with a sullen angry face stands before me, there’s a necklace with a
single pearl around her neck. She wears a bright green shirt with two buttons
on her right breast: “Defend Freddie Gray” and “Save Mumia” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I take a step
and I find myself in the middle of a cemetery at night. An angry demon with red
eyes of fire stares at a living skull vomiting gray serpents from its broken
mouth. The whole of the night is alive with purple serpents with red eyes and
hungry mouths. The demon has only a few words to say to me: “Here is the final
resting place where one can still find a love that would transcend all time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I look around
me. Four angry dogs burst with ravenous hunger. Blood and saliva fly in all
directions, away from their open jaws.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“We felt
perfectly safe at all times. We usually do. Not that easy to scare us. There
were homeless people, but there are homeless people everywhere. You just get
used to it. We’re used to it. It’s fine for us. No problem.” <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_04"></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A middle aged
drunk man looks up from the floor and talks to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“You want to
shoot these ones behind me?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Yeah… I didn’t
want to bother you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“No bother.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">He stands up
and turns around to look at the figures painted on the wall behind him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Man, these
look like men dressed as nuns, no? Transgenders?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Yeah, it said
something over there about them being the original spokespeople for transgender
rights… something like that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Really?” He
rushes over to read the text I’m pointing at. His mouth falls open. “Holy shit!
It really does. I didn’t know… I didn’t know.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I smile at him
and point my camera towards the nuns.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">This is one of
the few streets in this city that still preserves a sense of time, a sense of
place. A street of spells, for those who know its history; maybe when night
falls, it becomes a dark alley with an aura of mystery. <br />
Meanwhile, in the daylight, here are some spells that are still remembered,
spells that meant something to someone: “The Ultimate High Rise” “The Barbary
Coast” “A Terrible Anger” “The Octopus” “Nineteen Eighty Four” “Brave New
World” “Reclaiming San Francisco” “City for Sale” “The Grapes of Wrath” “Virgin
Soul” “You Can’t Win”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Everything must
go? Yes. Everything must go!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">From the left
side the Virgin Mary looks on. A single white ghost floats over her head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“At times I
felt scared. I became convinced something was about to happen. Nothing ever
did, but still. I felt like it was about to…” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A man I once
knew has now become a mural - on the wall he looks more like a mythical cartoon
than an actual memory, like something that jumped out of a old black and white
Mexican comic book and now looks down at me from the wall. The artistic spaces
he created are listed, so are some of his other accomplishments. Graffiti has
already tainted his face, a younger face than I remember, a face to remain
young for eternity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">His mouth opens
and he speaks:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“You seem like
you’re ready to move on. But wait! Before death can take me away She will come
to save me…” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">She will come.
She must come. Maybe She is hidden behind more than one face that I’ve already
seen around me - maybe She flows in and out of them when needed then slips back
into the walls when the danger fades away. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A few steps
later a frightened boy stares at me in black and white. Black letters surround
him like a swarm of bees: “Enough enough enough stop killing our children stop
killing our children enough enough enough” She may be powerful, but She may not
be powerful enough. There are cold places where Her power can’t reach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Somebody has
written “Get off sacred land!” They have written more underneath but someone
else has covered it with purple paint. A third someone has come along and
roughly, imperfectly, covered the purple paint in black scratches. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Here is a final
communication. Sacred means nothing. No love transcends all time.<br />
<br />
“I felt very uncomfortable, very ill at ease. I was unnerved by the frequent,
threatening drooling crazies. I'm not trying to be offensive or insulting. Many
of the homeless were literally drooling. My son pointed out the long globs of
spit spilling over their chins. He couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even want to
look!”<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_05"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A
very drunk white man talks to a young black man with the body of a bodybuilder.
The drunk man talks in an endless river of slurred words which I find
impossible to follow. A kind of slippery meaning emerges and I try to fill in
the gaps.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">"I hope
there is love for those who are in trouble, by the power of the City that loves
them. The consolations of the City are neither small nor few, they can never be
diminished, however great the number of those who share in them.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The
bodybuilder, his back straight as a tower, listens and responds every few
sentences. A nod here, a “yes”, a humming undertow of affirmation. His hand
goes to the drunk’s shoulder in a gesture of kindness.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“I believe it.
I believe that the City is pleased to love those who are in trouble by means of
its people who themselves have been hurt. Hurt people helping hurt people.
Various important purposes are served by this wise law. Order is achieved
through our subjection to this higher authority. The ultimate authority that is
the City.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">As I walk by
them the bodybuilder turns towards me and greets me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“How are you
doing sir?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I respond: “I’m
doing well. How are you?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Fine…” and he
smiles to complete the interaction.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Later they walk
past me, the drunk man is still talking in an endless blur of slurred words. He
turns towards me and says something I can’t understand. I turn and lean my head
in to try to make out the words.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Don’t bother
me. I’m here to take photos!” the bodybuilder says for me and smiles.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I nod and smile
at him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Many are very
hurt; they walk around with heavy hearts. Their pride makes them scorn this way
of obtaining love from the City. But the City is ready to offer its heart, the
City is ready to offer its love. The City is the final place where one can
still find a love that transcends time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A young woman
with purple hair closes her eyes. Her eyelids are bluish gray. She is
surrounded by many colored flowers, of all shapes and sizes. She opens her
mouth and speaks to me in a voice full of melody and color.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“This street
was once known as the street of the witches. Once there were many women like me
who lived here. Women of dark powers, women of subtle ways. At night the street
would always be closed at both ends so that nobody could approach the women and
ask for some kind of spell. Today this is just an alley off of Valencia. But
when night falls, I speak to others as I speak to you now. And every night I
tell a new story but all my stories are lies.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A family of
Mexican farmers sits to have lunch outside on a rough wooden table. A strong older
man with short black hair stares out at nothing, his face stoic and blank.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Soon he will be
drunk and he will have a lot to say. But for now he only stares in silence. His
adult daughter sits to his right, a smile of gentle contentment on her face.
His adult son sits to the right of the daughter, smiling with a tortilla in his
right hand and a full sombrero on his head. To the left of the middle aged man
are his young daughter, maybe around 6 years old, and his wife, who also smiles
contentedly as she prepares another tortilla. Only a single sheep stares back
at me, the only denizen of this world aware that it is being transported into
eternity by invisible eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A friendly
green penis with a faded pink head raises its hand to say hello to me. While it
greets me, over on its left side it teaches the ABCs while tiny fluffy clouds
tease him into a playful partial erection. A sleepy vagina with a tiny pubic
black hat looks at us both with half closed eyes. It opens itself to the world
out of sheer exhaustion, too tired to remain sealed and alone. Its secret
mission is to teach the numbers, the sequential division of events and digital
objects which is the basis for stable understanding. It is in this way that the
world was first divided into language and mathematics. For most of the day, so
it must remain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“My sister went
to school in this neighborhood a long time ago. This is back when we lived with
my father. She was a bit out of control, right? She did some crazy dark things
that I definitely would not recommend, some things I would be scared to try
myself.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The young woman
with purple hair tells me a story:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Once there was
a young man who lost his wife because of a fever. His family was very sad
because they couldn’t afford a funeral. Since there was no money to bury her
properly, the wife was buried in a mass grave, along with many others who had
died that week, that month, that year. The young man then stole some money for
himself. In the process of stealing he killed the rich man who was his victim.
The young man then managed to bribe a priest to recover the body of his love
from the mass grave in which it had been placed. Before the police took him
way, the young man took the body of his wife to a proper cemetery and lay her
to rest. Thus their love found a resting place, a place of peace outside of
time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">On a thick
stripe of blue paint there is an announcement for a website in thick black
letters. Underneath it there is a broken red slash with the word PARTY written
over it. Two zombies with missing arms and blank eyes stare out at me from
between the pink letters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“All I saw was
a dirty and scary ghetto area. Not a place I would let my kids walk home by
themselves.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_06"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">An
old Mexican man, black mustache, black combed back hair sprinkled with white.
He stands in front of his vegetable stand: peppers 2 for 1 dollar, corn 8 for 1
dollar.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“I will tell
you the rest of it. Not everyone gets to hear it. This is the truth of the City
spoken by one who has learned from the street. The hearts of all inhabitants of
the City are knit together in love and their mutual understanding is increased
whenever we speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who are loved
by the City through others like them are brought under strong obligations to
enduring friendships and sincere gratitude.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Improve, then,
all your experiences, for the benefit of your fellow City inhabitants. In this
way those who ought to love those who are hurt will be well prepared to do the
work assigned to them. The street is an excellent teacher. The street gives
great confidence to one who learns how to speak. It enables him to speak with
more certainty and boldness than he would have spoken otherwise.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Is the City
truly the Mother of all homeless? The Father of mercies? The City of all love?”
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Over a dirty
white ledge, I see the simple command: “Believe only in falling” Nothing else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><br />
“I guess it's an interesting place if you’re into that sort of thing. I
wouldn’t go back. But that’s just me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Over bright
orange paint strokes, in light blue letters: “Free the people of Palestine.
Boycott Israel.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Next to it is a
small blue and white flier. A young white silhouette represents “modern white
youth.” Modern white youth is being attacked through its right ear by a web of
words and ideas: “Cultural Marxism, White Guilt, Communism, Equality, Hate Your
Race, World Immigration, Feminism, Racism, White Privilege, Degeneracy,
Homosexuality, Colonialism, Drugs” Out of its left ear blood spills out, bright
red against a light blue sky.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Two girls walk
ahead of me. Both of them are Latin, in their twenties, dark hair, brown skin.
They stop in front of a restaurant that specializes in tacos.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Is this the
one? Ah wait, no, this is the one we came to before, right?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The other girl
nods. There is a streak of blue in her hair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Yeah, it was
good though.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I sidestep
them. The girl with the blue streak apologizes for standing in the middle of
the sidewalk. Her eyes open wide for a moment. Maybe she remembers something
that was better left forgotten.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“It felt
threatening to walk by so many homeless, drunk and drugged people on the
street. For us it was clearly not a pleasant place to visit.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_07"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The
disembodied voices have multiplied and I can hear them coming at me from all
directions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Why are some
of you feeling excluded, after all the loving things you have read in your
newspapers and heard in your TV news? Why do you go to the rivers and neglect
the fountain? Would you accept the true love that the City has for you? It rose
from your pain and it knows where you come from.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Two women stand
in front of the police station. Their thick old backpacks are in front of them,
temporarily placed on the sidewalk. They are rearranging things inside of their
backpacks in a rush. I know that one or both of them have just gone through a long
ordeal. I also get the sense that they have left someone behind inside the
station and the ordeal is not over. This is only a brief respite before the
pain begins again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The older
woman, with unruly blond hair and kind eyes, looks at me. I feel that she wants
to ask something of me, she wants me to help her in some way. I have an urge to
help but I restrain myself and just nod. As I walk by her, she is still looking
at me with an air of recognition. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Consider
attentively what are the particular diseases you currently endure. Think of
your mistakes, think of the worst of all the evils you have committed. I hope
you don’t misunderstand me. I hope you don’t hear me say one thing and think I
said another. Strong consolation will be provided for those who flee for refuge
to the Law.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The police may
be cruel at times, they may even seem unfair. But they are ultimately your
caretakers, your lovers, your passage through birth and death. They are an
extension of the love that the City has for you. But there can be no true love
to those who continue with their mistakes. Once you have recognized these
mistakes, you must forever put an end to them or the City will claim its
debts.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">An army of
bright red ants fights an army of bright blue ants. They fight over a terrain
of black waves and gray hills. On the hills it is written: “love each other out
loud…” On the waves no words will stay in place. The water exists beyond the
reach of language.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“The smell of
urine is everywhere you go. Can’t these people find a fucking bathroom?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A large white
poster is pasted to a pole with thick dark green tape. The tape is broken and
twisted and placed at random intervals. The message is written with various
different letters, cut out from magazines and newspapers, in the style of a kidnapper
writing a ransom note. It reads: “Too Many Bums in this Town”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I see young
blond girl laying naked with a black young man. She spoons him from behind,
rubbing her nose against the back of his neck. Their nude bodies are partly
covered by thick blue blankets. A fire rages behind them. Math and language
intertwine through their sweat, semen and blood.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A beautiful
young Latin woman looks sideways at me. She is surrounded by blue waves and
yellow tentacles. A sign on her nose reads: “Warning: Security Cameras in Use”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Her mouth opens
and she speaks in a smooth low voice that crackles with ancient life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“I will tell
you their story so you can tell it again. Once a young man lost his wife
because of a gang war. She was not the intended target but she died
nonetheless. He couldn’t afford a funeral so her body was taken to the city
morgue. The devastated husband tried to steal from a liquor store but the owner
had a gun and shot him. The wife’s body was never recovered. But the young man
joined her at the morgue. That was the final resting place where they finally
found a love that could transcend time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Over a yellow
and red fiery background, someone has written in bright green letters: “Listen
to the …. Of the Poor” After “the…” someone else has written the word “Tongues”
A third someone has written in rough black marker: “As you wish”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A giant bee
stares out at me with a huge white human eye that opens up from its back. Made
of scratchy stripes of yellow and black, the body is covered in bloody
splotches. Violence is everywhere, blood is the seed from which all beauty
takes life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A family runs
away in black silhouette. Father leads, mother follows, young daughter holds on
to mother’s hand. They run desperately towards a young dark-haired woman
wearing an open leopard jacket, slim black panties and nothing else. Over her
head is the word “Persona.” Under her barely covered crotch is the word “Lust.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Further away,
another dark haired young girl looks on. On her face is a satisfied smile; her
mouth and chin are covered in black blood. Around her are the words: “Pure
Lust”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">She turns to me
and clarifies: “Not just violence, not just blood.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“It was run
down, just one big dump. I’m sorry I don’t mean to be insulting, but that’s how
I saw it. I saw what appeared to be gangs just hanging out on the street. I
mean… somebody should do something when you see these people hanging out like
that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="sec_08"></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Two
girls stand at the corner by an old bank. They are both smoking, one seems a
lot more confident in her movements than the other. The confident one is
dressed in dark gray pants and a loose white sweater. The younger one has
hesitation written on her face; she is dressed in white jeans and a white
t-shirt. They are both smoking pot and the younger one is self conscious about
doing it in public.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“It’s all the
same, you know? All the same…” the older one says. Then she brushes her black
hair out of her eyes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">This street was
once known as the street of the witches. Back then women with secret powers
lived here. At night the street was dark so that nobody could go in search of
beauty. The darkness would hide it, the darkness would make them believe that
beauty didn’t exist. This place becomes pregnant when night falls, a dark path
with a vibrant sense of an endless departure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A simple
message is written with black marker, the ink is already fading under the sun:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“Do What You
Want. Love How You Want. Make…”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A floating
black and white mask sprouts black and white mushrooms from its head. A single
number one sits on its closed third eye; two white flowers are on either side
of its white wide open eyes. It opens its mouth to speak to me in a dark deep
voice full of memory:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“For many
years, the young man brought flowers and cleaned his wife’s grave. His
obsession reached such a degree that he married a young girl that looked just
like her. When that girl died, he married another girl that looked just like
her. Eventually he came to see that all girls everywhere, all women of all
kinds and in all places were her and had always been her. Thus all bad things
that could happen had already happened to her. And all good things would
certainly happen to her as well. It was only when he saw this final truth that
he was finally happy. But he had been dead many years by the time that final
recognition arrived.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">“The only thing
I’m left with is the dirt, the dirt and the trash and the dirty people living
on the streets. Don’t they have a place to go? They should have somewhere, I
don’t know, some kind of shelter or something. What I saw was a kind of village
for the homeless. Why is this happening?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">A hand drawn
butterfly rises into a world of deep solid colors, waves upon waves of green
and red and yellow. The scene is signed by “the gang of tears”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">If I close my
eyes, I can hear the flapping of its wings. Soft, heavy, subtle.</span></div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-6366117318572098572018-11-08T16:55:00.000-08:002018-11-08T17:00:16.982-08:00Impulse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNigeQLjSy-s0f0HlSBpjVWjzGgFt3HrFyxRtsznjZVRsedPYlRUSIjInh1liAgFSyN3mDW0ZnWU1KuYrloHvuQKf4KmSacyVto7ZY2ZfCmLgfW_lnrAo9zuw6R4JGbt4tckl6PI3o_U/s1600/Blog+3+JC+003+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNigeQLjSy-s0f0HlSBpjVWjzGgFt3HrFyxRtsznjZVRsedPYlRUSIjInh1liAgFSyN3mDW0ZnWU1KuYrloHvuQKf4KmSacyVto7ZY2ZfCmLgfW_lnrAo9zuw6R4JGbt4tckl6PI3o_U/s320/Blog+3+JC+003+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">The cell phone rings. She holds it to her ear. She stares out the open door of the basement room. Just past the doorway is another sub-level space with a large exercise machine, some dumbbells of various weights and half a dozen storage bins stacked in the corner. She cannot see any of it from her spot on the bed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Her eyes linger on the sheet rock just beyond the door frame. She listens
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
to the ringing, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the silence, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the ringing, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the silence. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A few windows at the very top of the ceiling reveal nothing but a few
blades of grass along the cement walkways on each side of the house. The
windows are a foot tall, a few feet wide. Just a little bit of light filters into
the basement. It’s the cool pale light of fall. She feels a little cold in her
flannel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wood paneling lines the walls, thin faux wood linoleum covers the
basement floor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are cracks and
chips on the edges of the tiles close to the walls. A few mismatched blankets
are crumpled on the bed, along with a few pillows ensconced in dingy white
cases.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She was beyond excited as she was boarded the airplane just seven hours
earlier. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She stood about fifteen feet
from the open gate waiting for her boarding group to be called. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She looked at an older woman close to her. She had a poof of white hair
piled high on her head and was dressed elegantly in black dress and pearl
earrings. She wondered if the old woman could sense the delight in her heart,
the nervous sparkles in her eyes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A few hours in, as the plane made its way into the night, a tickle of
doubt began to emerge. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She brushed it off once, twice, tried to focus on her book. But then it
settled in… </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
As the grim reality of her choice became clear, she felt uneasy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a plan like all her plans had been, no
research, recon, or testing the waters. It was head first or nothing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She dove in with her eyes closed, grasping at the
ribbons of her fantasy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Her optimistic smile had faded by the time she stepped off the plane. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wondered if he would be there to pick her
up. She hardly recognized him by baggage claim in a blue tie-dye shirt. He wore
long shorts and flip flops. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His hair was
longer now, almost to his shoulders and very blond at the tips. Where it hung
around his face, the ends were fanned out, like Farah Fawcett’s style in the
70s. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She picked up her bag and they descended to the parking garage on an
escalator. He was one step below her. Without looking at her he said: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“This is crazy.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She nodded quietly, smiling sheepishly. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She noticed there was an edge in his voice, perhaps regret. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It was past eleven when they pulled up to the house. He escorted her through
the living room, through the kitchen and towards the stairs that led to the
converted basement. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“My brother’s wife and kid are in Mexico right now.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She nodded, silently carrying her bag. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
There was a single light on in the kitchen, pale and flickering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A white Formica table was close to the stove.
On it were a few forgotten coffee cups and a folded magazine. The house felt
lonely.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
They walked down the stairs into the bedroom. She thought they would
kiss and have sex, he would take her in his arms and say how much he had missed
her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
But they were strangers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Now that she was in his house, in the real world as everyone liked to
call it, it seemed strange that they had ever been more than strangers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
If he had leaned over and touched her face, she would have given
herself willingly anyway. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
But he didn’t, and that made it all the stranger to her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
They slept in the same bed that night. His alarm was set for five. He
told her he would be back around 9am.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She greeted him warmly when he arrived. For a moment she imagined that he
had brought her breakfast. But there was only one to-go cup of coffee in his
hand. He held out the donut bag to her with reluctant politeness. She peered in
and saw only one donut. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She shook her head sadly, saying: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“There’s just one.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He said nothing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Her surprise turned to anger, the anger folded and re-folded, an
origami lotus revealing its petals of disillusionment. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
They had had a brief sex-filled affair. Sex in beds, hammocks, on a
balcony beneath the night stars. He looked after her a few days when she was
sick with sun stroke, helped her arrange a bus ticket back to Guadalajara. They
went out to eat a few times. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Besides a few sporadic phone calls throughout the summer, that was all
they had. In one of their conversations he invited her to Chicago, where he was
moving in with his brother. The invitation had not been for a visit, but rather
a permanent living arrangement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She had gone willingly into the fantasy, her parents and friends once
again concerned about her reckless impulses. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A few hours before her flight to the Midwest, her mother said: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“You won’t be too proud to come back if it doesn’t end up working, will
you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
And now here she was, a house in the suburbs, the cool winds of fall a
whisper at the back of her neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
He invited her to sit outside with him. Fall leaves floated on the
surface of the pool. They sat on the cold cement walkway surrounding the
pool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Is something wrong? You look sad.” She said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“It was a mistake asking you to come here. I’m sorry I did that. In
August I got some news and I have been going to the doctor a lot. During the
summer I was with a lot of women- after I was with you, I was with another
woman. I think she gave me something. It’s not serious, there is treatment- but
that is why I was not with you last night. It’s why I don’t think you should be
here.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
She was quiet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“It was a crazy idea.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Ok, well, I’m going to call and get a flight. Will you take me to the
airport later?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Yeah, sure.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The telephone rings. She holds the cell phone to her ear. She stares
out the open door of the basement room. She listens </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
to the ringing, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the silence, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the ringing, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
the silence. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Hello?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Hey Jen, it’s me. I’ll be in San Francisco at 9 tonight. Can you me
meet me there?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“What?” She says through laughter. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It’s a familiar laugh, low, guttural and rolling. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“Yep.” A smile breaks across her face. “I’ll tell you about it
tonight.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-8035701104850994502018-10-02T17:42:00.000-07:002018-10-02T17:42:17.425-07:00Snake<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BHdA0oSaMPiTqIVg-R_0RqQzlw2PIyP0zAQqfguQARTBZxNakceLCdwWi_XEQ7PS96kzEZiNTbfh4fQWAoYUFdJH8l_lk6_b8mQZD61DU_jkqDi6-7y1UNfRme7zxDd6bdWtMaGoKFw/s1600/180830+Blog+2+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BHdA0oSaMPiTqIVg-R_0RqQzlw2PIyP0zAQqfguQARTBZxNakceLCdwWi_XEQ7PS96kzEZiNTbfh4fQWAoYUFdJH8l_lk6_b8mQZD61DU_jkqDi6-7y1UNfRme7zxDd6bdWtMaGoKFw/s320/180830+Blog+2+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The rope is knotted in the corner. Dust on the earthen floor.
It’s been there since the beginning, since that first house was built, since the
first man was made out of spit and semen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The walls are crumbling around me now, the cracks are growing
wider and deeper, dying so slowly. I’ll stay here forever before they turn to
sand and memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">My eyes play tricks on me as the candles dance back and forth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yellow and gold scenes emerge from the walls,
heroes and monsters are born and fade on the flat surface as the wind bursts
though the open windows. The night air smells of sweetness, of smoke and old
knowledge. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">That rope, I watch as it changes shape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A snake moves towards me, ready to kiss or
bite. I cannot tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It slides over my
ankles, crawling slowly up my soot covered legs. I see it grow, I see it expand
wider and wider, forming hips and breast, scales becoming dewy skin and fine
hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is silvery, iridescent like
clouds below the moon. She moves. Her chest, feet, hands, all match the rhythm
coming from outside. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">They are chanting by the fire, around our old tree on the
other side of the river. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can hear them,
I can imagine them in the shadow of the mountain as if I was there among them.
But I am here, on this simple mattress, among epic battles that never end. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">She moves her head towards me. She becomes something more
than physical. More than the force of all men, all systems I’ve ever understood
or heard of. She takes over my body. I search for descriptions, for the limit,
the very edge. I follow, communicating only with my eyes. I watch her breasts
rise and fall, then search her eyes for the center. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">She will not let me return to the physical, not yet. Not
while my body is free. I place my mind in her hands, let her wet hands dissolve
my lies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She takes me up the mountain,
one single being in free eager flight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-14507636618241159972018-08-18T17:16:00.000-07:002018-08-18T17:16:38.551-07:00Without Eyes or Force<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uBaurQ_vhh1O4rSdYf0ODK77gq2ByV4cHDZDHorH7sz9dL9uqXuf1Qhcr6PAIQ7CnVN9x2AR9g0aSyvR4PUM3iSIPSmwoYcyTlk6xz7QduNYRcQczFmAg_-ucmPG9Tk3Nfdtos4oqj0/s1600/0301+Detritus+Blog+1+001+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uBaurQ_vhh1O4rSdYf0ODK77gq2ByV4cHDZDHorH7sz9dL9uqXuf1Qhcr6PAIQ7CnVN9x2AR9g0aSyvR4PUM3iSIPSmwoYcyTlk6xz7QduNYRcQczFmAg_-ucmPG9Tk3Nfdtos4oqj0/s320/0301+Detritus+Blog+1+001+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
my king, my god<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
barely recognizable in the wind<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
shining in the moonlight<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
my king, my god<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
its shape incomprehensible<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
in the swirling phenomena <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
of a myriad structures and forms<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
that surround it.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
It devours all true memory<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
all sense of the past<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
is torn away <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
from underneath me<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
leaving me cold and alone<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
hesitant and uncertain.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here, in this place,<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
I see <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
it is thinking that began time,<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and language that gave it shape. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And now time stirs<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
revealing the hidden treasures <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
of entropy and death.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Certain questions will<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
forever remain<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
suspended in space<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
without answers<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
without conclusions<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
vibrant in their <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
refusal to fall.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Meanwhile<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
behind the black curtain<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
the night envelops me<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and a body <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
without eyes or force<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
forever becomes<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
movement<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
a sound<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
vibrating air<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
somehow shining<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
in the moonlight.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<br />A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-47498446734209203222018-06-06T21:46:00.000-07:002018-06-06T21:51:22.689-07:00Windows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZnewTrJqLMXbY9x1GaW9tNH0bW4TdSb5tZ1JV-Kf-hfYu1WY5ZMLEQta4r_fTpXSxXBRZIjZekWyaXZiMrQtSJl62CNBxeA8aajSIhyVQpGtcDHwEbcibxXYdMt6NcTzgHjigvjmJLgE/s1600/0203+Blog+8+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZnewTrJqLMXbY9x1GaW9tNH0bW4TdSb5tZ1JV-Kf-hfYu1WY5ZMLEQta4r_fTpXSxXBRZIjZekWyaXZiMrQtSJl62CNBxeA8aajSIhyVQpGtcDHwEbcibxXYdMt6NcTzgHjigvjmJLgE/s320/0203+Blog+8+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can I ever know<br />what happened to the rest of him?<br /><br />I can picture the room,<br />the doors made of valuable Nicaraguan wood,<br />masterpieces on the walls.<br /><br />I look for him,<br />and my fingers reach for the future<br />and everything else slides away.<br />I grab at the pieces of paper,<br />the yellow windows,<br />the names.<br /><br />Can I find the traces of affection?<br />The loneliness that<br />sprung fully formed<br />in the quiet moments<br />of tenderness?<br /><br />His eyes can't be grasped.<br />In them are tales of monsters<br />that no one else remembers.<br /><br />Then I feel a pair of hands<br />pressing tightly on my stomach.<br />They take me back to the sky,<br />to the wooden room,<br />to the yellow windows.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-44603438225530581482018-05-12T22:01:00.001-07:002018-05-12T22:02:03.207-07:00Horizon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDX6iwu8UJJ-5OF1LfkV7UcsiCSR2uaFXO3a3wzx6zxn1ZqMnPTwojXjFxEFMddod0G_yos4n03Aa6ahWQ7ANUQ5WrEuEYHI4mXjWgloyuvQFm4aBcyVBpHk75pHKWyfuMm-NvDfYz4n0/s1600/0203+Blog+7+jc+001+sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDX6iwu8UJJ-5OF1LfkV7UcsiCSR2uaFXO3a3wzx6zxn1ZqMnPTwojXjFxEFMddod0G_yos4n03Aa6ahWQ7ANUQ5WrEuEYHI4mXjWgloyuvQFm4aBcyVBpHk75pHKWyfuMm-NvDfYz4n0/s320/0203+Blog+7+jc+001+sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Suddenly part of the purple blackness,
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
the glorious dark begins to tremble. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
An idol emerges in the sky,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
its body in bondage</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
its soul tethered to my own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I was on the bridge</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and then a moment later</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
the bird at my toes began to twinkle, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and turned to pale powder.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I remember a pack of wolves</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
in their cages</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
worshiping death.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
They were loud enough</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that the abyss became the horizon</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and the red sky </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
began to fall.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Broken graves glanced my way,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
their texture and smell no longer hidden.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Now I know that was the beginning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
The water's shining light</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
would soon be pale </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
in the absence of moonlight.</div>
</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-44098275901767763872018-04-20T16:19:00.002-07:002018-04-20T16:19:56.355-07:00Multitude<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1x6p8_zJJzVNzK1T932aBUaLFryuwx7RzEs4iS1APXcuNhJUPquWwoJ0tzfN6ustRb2rL53vo2nXWFXy8a2vh8qOJk3weygCDlsJPhEbqaM1Qp4qjItW3qFE2yE70tb7Ci4pI3BqZmic/s1600/180418+Blog+Lyd+04+jc+000sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1x6p8_zJJzVNzK1T932aBUaLFryuwx7RzEs4iS1APXcuNhJUPquWwoJ0tzfN6ustRb2rL53vo2nXWFXy8a2vh8qOJk3weygCDlsJPhEbqaM1Qp4qjItW3qFE2yE70tb7Ci4pI3BqZmic/s320/180418+Blog+Lyd+04+jc+000sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
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/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
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mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
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mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:107%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
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<![endif]-->I was touched </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
when they passed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I would never be the same.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It kept on coming</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
the sweet and gentle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
the light ethereal touch</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that I would be able to examine</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
so many years later</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
on the little pieces of paper</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that would emerge from names and numbers</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
from the invisible that would be</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
given names and futures</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
specific locations and shapes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and all the true horrors</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
of fate and love and loneliness</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and a past only partly remembered.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It was a multitude of eyes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that would make love to me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a choir that would tell me stories</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
of the sky and the gods</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and their affections,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
of mountain roads so rare</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
we would never </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
be able to find them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
They offered me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a complex world of perfection</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and reconfigurations</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
at once true </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and never possible.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I stood on a large rock</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and I could still see them in the distance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I let myself cry</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Hoping to make myself remember.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I could feel fingers on my chest</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
on my belly</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
on my legs</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
on my crotch</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
on my forehead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Fingers that weren’t there</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
fingers that could never have been</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and never would be.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I could feel eyes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
long gone and faded into nothing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I could feel</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
the invisible circular tenderness</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that rarely held on </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
to the thin</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
grasp of friends </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and books and things</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that were never truly present.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I stared at them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and I watched them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
slide away into the </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
passing night</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
separating into parallel formations</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
into hands and music,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
into tenderness </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that became more and more distant</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
more and more dream-like</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
more and more a myth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
to be forgotten</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and discarded as a lie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I was touched as they passed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I would never be the same.</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-54210715048504476392018-04-17T18:08:00.001-07:002018-04-17T18:09:35.690-07:00Impulse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRbOJ1yDbqcPQjKSZM2yyCnBe3l2n2D4pPA80iE0auAyVtiAo7J5AMsP4L1Kn00c8Xo_7MOsIdUaBJ4H2-14qsmSghDIrQJ_9d5aMToJfy390gl3qI1PpSKBziJ4Wyqr75PB8gYP9GDwc/s1600/0203+blog+impulse+jc+000v2sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRbOJ1yDbqcPQjKSZM2yyCnBe3l2n2D4pPA80iE0auAyVtiAo7J5AMsP4L1Kn00c8Xo_7MOsIdUaBJ4H2-14qsmSghDIrQJ_9d5aMToJfy390gl3qI1PpSKBziJ4Wyqr75PB8gYP9GDwc/s320/0203+blog+impulse+jc+000v2sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Mood is my body</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
manifesting itself</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
through subtle levels</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
too light to touch</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
too faint to hold.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
The remains of my lost thoughts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
fall without making a sound</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
without leaving a trace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
How do I speak</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
of harmony </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
of light</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and the process of the rose?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I have come through</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
twisted from the labyrinth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
emerging fully formed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
from the tunnels of time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It is all a colorful pattern</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
yet fearsome and dark,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a strange loop</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
where words are arranged</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
in spiraling currents</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a sequence discarding logic</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a structure without</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a stable frame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No need here</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
for a physical body</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
just a seed </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
containing the process</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and the freedom</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
that brings it life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I remain </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
an unknown mass</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a life impulse</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a lustful fountain</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
a fading thought.</div>
<br />A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-76689026610594794822018-01-29T15:47:00.000-08:002018-01-29T15:47:17.033-08:00Hunger<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVOJDVpBCNniWpjmIjiqU6UuCDOtCiCKkp7yOlKdALheAwDKbSc-JHlRMVPPvgJjS42K5q5ZggHZlnkogJmHLTGNo66KqMkjqu1040eb-qzkw5-I2XRBUNKAQFssvhrkM3li6lHJkluRE/s1600/0203+Blog+graphic+jc0001sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVOJDVpBCNniWpjmIjiqU6UuCDOtCiCKkp7yOlKdALheAwDKbSc-JHlRMVPPvgJjS42K5q5ZggHZlnkogJmHLTGNo66KqMkjqu1040eb-qzkw5-I2XRBUNKAQFssvhrkM3li6lHJkluRE/s320/0203+Blog+graphic+jc0001sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We were the seventh group.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our goals were open and limitless,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our bodies made of red clay,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
red blood, blue lightning. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our souls without tether.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had prepared for the voyage </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
through strict discipline</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as instructed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had taken the ritual baths </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in the mountain temple </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for 5 days in a row.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had been covered in dust</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and blankets </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and beaten with leather.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once rising, finally free of dust</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and forgetfulness,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
they told us we would climb</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
like a winged bird</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
towards the sky,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
our minds would open</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
into endless unimaginable landscapes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
without the shrouded mist</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of our homeland,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
without the desolate frozen lakes </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of our dying land.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our newly formed blood</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
would adapt to the synthetic nutrients,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to the dark brown soil</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of the astral ship we were now forming.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those left behind</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
we would become part of</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the golden rays of sunlight,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
a piece of the distant sky.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But certain elements </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in the network engineering </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
began to change our nature.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My companions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
hungered for old blood</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and I felt waves of a hunger too</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
even if I couldn’t name it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We found within ourselves</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
a desire far greater</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
than our preconceived nutritional needs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Somewhere over the horizon</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
we became creatures of darkness </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
shadow killers of souls,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and we turned the ship around</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and placed within it </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the seed of a new message.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We would find a way</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To merge</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our desire for flesh </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And our wish for the stars.</div>
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Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
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A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-72334333403681198932017-12-01T00:37:00.000-08:002017-12-01T00:37:33.070-08:00Rise of the Old King<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%;">When
the new sun was born the impulse to kiss his remorseless, deathless face had to
be held at bay. Slumbering peacefully, the lightest touch would rouse him,
incurring the violence we feared and longed for. In our shinning world of
straight edges, mirrored glass, blue screens and open source, it was easy to lose
track of the other thing, that which lurked in the places we had avoided for so
long, the real animal brutality of our own deepest subconsciousness. Emerging
from the depths, and not from the skies where we raised our dream machines
towards the stars, the old King returned to us from the realms of myth and
shadow. </span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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distant suns, we ceased to look down at our own root. The memory of the inner
Kingdom faded as the last pages of the world’s most ancient books turned to
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star was born in a magnetic bottle and its power was harnessed to make the
world a fantasy of unending light, we shed that old skin of memory, of dream,
shadow, and terror and began the expansion beyond the terrestrial.</span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%;">In
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found worlds like our own. One in every thousand had the potential to raise
life from its mineral rich soil, and on some we found the evidence of
civilizations that had flourished and fallen before we had ever even mastered
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%;">Eventually,
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%;">When
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to his sanctuary, singing our farewell. We were naked as we bore him back, our
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blood and sweat that had been spilled in our orgiastic remembrance. His legions
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A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8634480655541294714.post-3306266884413057432017-08-21T09:30:00.000-07:002017-08-21T09:30:48.436-07:00New Frontier<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz42ffJaYA7Ac9QX9iA62xyUOcP4ySS7OjeNWKZRXBoiZ0pRuwJ1FDMeRbF7wHNzqkS5EkwDXS-PU8NisXv88tm_yy2SipMvOqQCfmAK3X1yKsHi5YP4wa8EChISCLDt0aEipuqT1RspA/s1600/0203Et01sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz42ffJaYA7Ac9QX9iA62xyUOcP4ySS7OjeNWKZRXBoiZ0pRuwJ1FDMeRbF7wHNzqkS5EkwDXS-PU8NisXv88tm_yy2SipMvOqQCfmAK3X1yKsHi5YP4wa8EChISCLDt0aEipuqT1RspA/s320/0203Et01sm.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was personally acquainted with the architect behind
LV37.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dr. Richard Mann was my childhood
friend long before he was Mad Mann, the Zombie King. His parents, like mine,
belonged to the middle class, and they were, if not rich, prosperous enough for
stable comfort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His father’s business
was the buying and selling of construction materials, wholesale and
retail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He received large shipments of
valuable lumber from nearby states, and excellent cheeses which his wife sold
in a shop downtown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In many ways we both grew up in an old fashioned and
conservative atmosphere. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Conservative in some aspects, liberal in others.” Richard
would tell a reporter from TIME magazine after his initial discoveries led to a
Nobel prize and a coveted position at Stanford. In the same article he
described his work with synthetic cells as, “a starting point from which we may<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> plunge into a whole other abyss. I
mean know thyself, find the limits stuff. The very essence of life.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was at Stanford that he began his experiments with LV37.
The synthetic was designed to function like smart blood, blood that could
adapt, blood that was not quite the same as human blood, super blood,
impervious to disease, capable of slowly mutating human physiology so that it could
run solely on a synthetic food source. But of course, I’m getting ahead of
myself. Most people forget why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A girl. Why else? But in Richard’s case it was a sister and
not a sweetheart that launched his quest. I was looking away when a little girl
in a yellow shirt decided to look at me, and by the time I thought to look back
she was gone. Victoria Mann was 8 years old when she finally died of leukemia
in the children’s wing of St. Mary’s Hospital. I was still a little boy at 10
years old. My mother holding me, I let myself cry because it was what she
expected. Richards eyes remained dry. He never chose to be expected.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Initially conceived of as a cure for Aids, LV37 was
radically different from any other treatment, experimental or otherwise. Dr.
Mann saw applications for it with certain cancer patients so his second group
of subjects included Aids patients as well as patients suffering with Multiple
Myeloma and Lymphoma. Understand, these were all people on their death beds,
people for whom the conventional treatments had failed, or even worsened their
condition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were referred to him by
their Doctors as a last possible hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the end, is it really so bad to die? People have been
doing it for ages. There are far worse things than death. We all know this now.
Not so in the spring and summer of 2039. The first group of test subjects
simply died. That was the most merciful side effect of LV37. An hour after the
transfusions were complete they slipped into commas and from there the bodies
systems shut down one by one until the heart finally stopped pumping the
synthetic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The record survival rate for test subjects was 4 days when
Mann’s team began treatment with their seventh test group. Feeding subjects a
uniquely formulated nutritional paste helped provide the nutrients necessary
for sustaining the initial phase of transformation. This was their great break
through. The sludge, as they affectionately called it, was necessary. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Early test subjects had perished because the synthetic
increased metabolism in the extreme. They essentially starved to death. The
increased metabolism was the result of certain elements within the synthetic
seeking to meet particular nutritional needs that the human body could not
meet. In theory, if they could propel their patients through this phase with
the sludge, the body would eventually adapt to the extent that it would be
capable of synthesizing nutrients on its own. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8 year old Gita Naghali was a member of that seventh group.
I imagine Richard looked at her tiny shriveled form and saw Victoria fighting
for life. The Naghalis had begged to be referred to Dr. Mann. They sought him
out despite their physician’s bleak opinion of him. They’d read that article in
TIME three years ago and thought it was still possible that he was a genius. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are those who will say that Richard Mann was really
reaching far beyond a cure for certain diseases of the blood. They claim he was
always grasping at immortality like a crazed Viktor Frankenstein. Maybe. Lines
can become very blurry. I remember I saw Richard at my mother’s funeral before
his LV37 trials began. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What’s the point, Charlie, in curing Lymphoma? Lymphoma
patients will die one day anyway, if not from Lymphoma, then from something
else. What is it that we really want to cure?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At some point, perhaps he lost track of the ideals that put him
in the field of medicine. The Hippocratic Oath might have tumbled by the
wayside as his obsession took sway. This was the new frontier, the cutting edge
of gene replacement, genetic engineering, and nanotechnology. LV37 was going to
revolutionize the human race. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These were
the thoughts he must have been thinking as he watched his technician insert the
IV into Gita Naghali’s tiny vein. Maybe when he looked at her he already saw a
corpse and believed there was nothing left to lose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never heard from Richard again after my mother’s funeral.
I can only imagine what it was like based on the reports they fed us in the
data stream. Remembering his dry eyes when Victoria died, I picture him as
unmoved when on the sixth day of her treatment, little Gita suddenly grabs Dr.
Helen Andrews by the ears and eats her face off. I picture him sitting behind
the observation glass, watching calmly as other technicians spring into action,
only to be intercepted by the other 5 ravenous adult patients in the ward.
Possibly he saw Gita escape through an air duct. She was so little according to
the pictures they showed us. It’s the only way it could have gotten out,
because at some point Richard sealed the ward and called for security.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are the conspiracy theories though, that none of those
test subjects escaped, that Mad Mann himself spread it by walking through the
children’s ward and hanging a nice bag of LV37 on the IV poles next to their
beds as they slept. It shames me to say, I find this easier to believe than the
idea that Gita walked to the nearest playground and bit another child, who bit
another and so on. None of us knows exactly how it got out. I don’t have to
tell you that the first wave of infected individuals were children, that the
entire student body of Ingrid B. Lacy Elementary School ate all of the staff
and most of each other before swarming the streets. It’s common knowledge.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was the boy that played beside Mad Mann in a dark garden
full of mountains of sand and intricate structures of loose bricks when he was
just a child. His sister loved us both but we didn’t love her until it was too
late. When she was well we never let her play with us in the garden, or come
with us to gaze up at newsstands full of magazines and newspapers, searching
for a little superman comic, or a little book of horrors, or a large photobook
with women in tight bikinis. We left her alone to play with dolls in a quiet
room until she vanished all together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking through half boarded windows at the slow-moving
tanks that light up the night in faded yellow, I think of that first wave of
the LV37 breakout as a children’s crusade, as Vicky’s revenge on the boys who
wanted to bury toy soldiers in the sand without her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am touching the glass to leave curved
fingerprints that I will only be able to examine much later, when the sun comes
back up and the tanks are gone, if I’m still alive. I pray, that if I am not
alive, then I am dead, good old fashioned dead. New frontier be damned.</div>
A Voyagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00185326961744611536noreply@blogger.com0